DateableHow to start sugar dating as a sugar baby
Decide your limits, verify your profile, meet only in public after a video call, and never pay a fee to receive an allowance.
Sugar dating works when you know what you want and the person you meet is who they claim to be. Set up a private email and phone number, write an honest profile that shows the real you, get verified, then video call before you meet. Most important: never pay money to anyone who offers to send you an allowance. If someone asks for a "proof of loyalty" fee or any payment upfront, they are running a scam.
Decide what you want before you start
Sugar dating is different for everyone. Some people want support while they study. Others want help with rent. Some want a mentor. Some want a long-term arrangement. Some prefer to keep it casual. What matters is that you know what you are looking for, because the arrangement only works if you both want the same thing. The [sugar baby guide][@/guides/sugar-baby-guide/] covers these arrangements in detail.
It helps to decide a few things before you open an account:
- What kind of support do you want: financial, mentoring, experiences, or a mix?
- How much time do you want to give: occasional dates, weekly, or more often?
- Where are your boundaries: what are you willing to do, and what are you not?
- What happens if you meet someone you really like: is that okay, or do you want to keep it purely transactional?
The clearer you are about these things, the faster you will find someone who matches.
Protect yourself before anyone else sees your profile
Set up a new email address and a phone number that are separate from your personal ones. Use them only for dating on Dateable. This keeps your home address, real name and work details out of the message threads.
Screenshot or photograph anything someone says in a message that sounds too good to be true, or threatens you. [If someone hurts you after you meet, it is not your fault]1. Keep those screenshots: you will need them if you need to report someone.
Write a profile that tells the truth
Your profile is how people decide whether to message you. It works best when it is honest about who you are and what you want. Do not oversell yourself. Do not say yes to things you do not want to do. A generous member who clicks through your profile knows what they are getting; a dishonest one will figure it out later anyway.
Use photos that look like the real you. You can use up to 12 public photos on Dateable and keep up to 12 more private. Every photo is reviewed before others see it. Choose photos that show your face clearly, and if you include full-body photos, wear what you would actually wear on a date.
In your bio, say what you want to get out of it. Say how often you want to meet. If you have a particular boundary, say it: for example, "no weekday meets before 6pm" or "city dates only". Clear boundaries are not off-putting. They are your chance to filter out people you do not want to hear from.
Get verified so people trust you
Verification on Dateable is a live selfie compared to your profile photos by a real person. It shows people that you are the person in your photos. It does not check your identity documents or your income. Once you are verified, you can post on the Board and apply for invitations. Generous members take verification seriously because it means you are real.
[Get verified][@/guides/get-verified/] before you start messaging. It is the first thing generous members check. After you are verified, [read the guide on spotting a scam][@/guides/spot-a-scam/]: the section on proof of loyalty fees explains this exact scam.
Video call before you meet in person
When someone messages and you are interested, trade a few messages. Then ask for a video call. A video call takes ten minutes and tells you three things: they are real, they match their photos, and their voice and manner match how they came across in text.
If they say their camera does not work, or that they are too busy, or that they only video call after you meet in person: those are reasons to say no and move on.
The scam that targets sugar babies
A scammer will message you and say they want to send you money. They might claim they travel for work and want to support you while you are apart. They sound genuine. Then they ask for a "proof of loyalty" fee, or a payment for processing, or a fee to "release" your allowance. They might ask you to buy gift cards and send them the codes. Do not pay anything. [A scammer poses as a prospective sugar parent and offers to pay your bills or debts, but first asks for a small payment as 'proof of loyalty', then disappears. In a second version they deposit a large sum, claim it was an error, and ask you to return it by buying gift cards and sending the codes. The deposit came from fraudulent accounts, so it disappears and you are left in debt]2.
I want to send you money to help out, but I need a small proof of loyalty fee first to process it.
That is the scam. Do not reply. Do not negotiate. Do not think you can be careful enough to spot the catch. Block the person and report them.
Keep your own income and take it slowly
Never let a sugar arrangement be your only income. Keep your job, your side hustle, or your studies. The moment sugar becomes your only money, you have lost your freedom to say no. A person who offers to support you on that condition is controlling you, not dating you.
In the first month, talk to several people. You do not need to commit to anyone. Arrange a few dates. See who you like and who you do not. See who follows through and who does not. After a month you will know the difference between a genuine person and someone wasting your time.
Sources
- eSafety Commissioner (2026). Online dating | How to stay safe.
- WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
