DateableHow to tell a real sugar baby from a scammer
A real sugar baby wants to meet before any money moves. A scammer finds a reason you must pay first, or tries to get intimate images to use for blackmail.
A real sugar baby wants to meet in person before any money changes hands. A scammer finds a reason you must pay first: an emergency, a fee, a ticket, or a verification cost that does not exist.
The emergency, ticket and fee stories
Scammers work from a script. They claim to need help with a medical emergency, a plane ticket to reach you, a visa fee, or a bank release. Each one comes with details meant to sound real: a surgery date, a flight that leaves tomorrow, a locked account they need to open before they can access their funds 1.
The stories always end the same way: they need money now, and they ask you to send it via wire transfer, gift card, money transfer app or cryptocurrency. Wire transfers and crypto are the hardest to reverse: once the money is gone, it is gone 2. A scammer will keep mentioning the deadline, the urgency, how much this means to them. Urgency is the tool: it is meant to stop you from thinking clearly.
A real sugar baby with a genuine need would handle it differently. They would suggest you meet somewhere cheaper first, or ask a friend for help, or postpone. They would not pressure you to send money before you have met and decided you want to help them. If someone you have never met starts asking for money, that is your signal to stop talking.
What a scammer's message might look like:
Hey, I really want to meet you but my mum got into an accident and I need to fly home. Can you help me with the ticket? Just $600 and I will pay you back when I can. My flight is tomorrow morning and I'm so worried. Please, I trust you.
The pressure, the deadline, the emotional appeal, the shame of asking for money: all of it is calculated to make you stop thinking. Do not send it. Block and report instead.
The pressure to move off the app
Scammers often push the conversation off Dateable onto WhatsApp, email or another private platform. They say the app is slow, or they do not check it, or they prefer the other service. The real reason is that once you are off the platform, you are harder to report, and there is no record of what they said 3.
Dateable keeps messages on the platform so you and they have a record of what was agreed. A real member is fine staying on the app until you have met and know each other better. If someone pushes hard to move the chat and then asks for money on WhatsApp, you have their messages on Dateable proving what happened. Use that record if you need to report.
Sextortion: the threat that starts on a video call
One scam works like this: someone asks you to a video call, often saying they want to see that you match your photos. During the call they nudge you towards taking your clothes off, or they record you without saying so. Later they send you a screenshot and say they will post it to everyone you know unless you pay 4.
Sometimes the scammer does not even have a real recording: they use a still image and claim to have video. Either way, do not pay. Scammers who get paid demand more money the next day. The only winning move is to block, report and tell someone you trust. If you are worried the recording is real, services can help remove it from platforms once you report 5 4.
A real sugar baby you meet will not ask you to video call before you meet in person. If someone does, and they pressure you to undress, that is a scammer. Block and report on Dateable straight away. Do not engage further and do not send photos.
Verification keeps things real
On Dateable, verification means a real person compares your live selfie to your profile photos and confirms you match. It shows you are the person in your photos. It does not check your name, age or income: it only verifies that you are who your photos show.
A verified member has passed this check. A scammer can fake almost anything online, but they cannot pass Dateable's verification because they do not have real photos of a real person they control. Scammers either skip the verification step, or they show you a profile that is verified but then ask you to move the conversation to WhatsApp and keep messaging you from a different account that is not verified.
If someone is messaging you and they are not verified, that is a reason to be cautious. If they refuse to verify, that is a reason to stop. Verification is free and takes minutes, so asking them to verify is a simple request. Anyone who balks at it is telling you something.
The first meeting is the final filter
Arrange to meet in a public place, in daylight, with other people around. A real sugar baby will agree to this happily: it is exactly what they want too. They will show up on time, or message you if they are running late. If someone finds excuses not to meet, or asks you to change the venue to somewhere private, that is a scammer.
When you meet, you get to see whether they match their photos, whether the chemistry is there, and whether they seem safe and trustworthy. This is the meeting where nothing is discussed but getting to know each other. A real arrangement starts here, in person, with both of you deciding you want to continue.
The signals that tell you whether you are talking to a real person or a scammer are simple:
- They say they work abroad, on a military base or on an oil rig, and cannot leave: this is the most common lie 2.
- They ask for money before you meet: for emergencies, fees, tickets, investment opportunities or anything else.
- They pressure you to move off Dateable and then ask for money on a private platform.
- They refuse to video call, or they ask you to undress on a video call.
- They are not verified on Dateable.
- They avoid a public meeting or keep finding reasons to postpone.
If you see any of these signs, you are dealing with a scammer. Use report and block to stop them, and do not send money or photos. A real member wants what you want: to meet, to decide if you are compatible, and only then to talk about money.
Sources
- Federal Trade Commission (2022). What To Know About Romance Scams.
- Fletcher, E. (Federal Trade Commission) (2023). Romance scammers' favorite lies exposed.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Threat scams.
- StopNCII.org (Revenge Porn Helpline, SWGfL) (2026). Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Image Abuse.
