DateableHow to write a dating profile headline
Your 80-character headline is one specific line: something only you could write, not generic words. Hint at what you want and sound like a real person.
Your headline is one line about you or what you want, and it has 80 characters to work with. The best headlines make someone stop scrolling because they sound like a real person saying something true, not a dating site formula.
What a headline is not
A headline is not your job title. It is not your height, or a comment on your looks. It is not a list of what you want in a partner, and it is not a pickup line. These things feel like you are trying to sell yourself, or like you have read what other people write without thinking about your own life.
The worst headlines use words that could describe anyone. Fun. Genuine. Adventurous. Seeking my person. Looking for something real. A thousand people wrote those this week. Your headline should be something only you could have written.
Start with something specific about you
What is true about you that is not true about most people? Not your job: the thing you actually do when nobody is paying you. Not your looks: the thing you notice about yourself when you are alone.
- A skill or hobby you have spent time on: "I restore furniture" or "I make bread every Sunday" or "I have been learning to sail this year".
- A thing you think about: "I collect old maps" or "I get excited about how people work" or "I am thinking about moving to the coast".
- A way you spend your time: "I volunteer at the animal shelter" or "I cook dinner for friends every month" or "I am training for a half-marathon".
- A belief or value you act on: "I think people should dress up for dinner" or "I believe in second chances" or "I give most of my time to causes I believe in".
Any of these tells someone who reads it that there is a person on the other side. You are not trying to be attractive in a generic way. You are just being yourself.
Hint at what you want without listing terms
Your profile as a whole carries your expectations. Dateable exists so people can be clear about what they are looking for, and your profile does that work for you. Your headline does not have to explain everything, but it can hint at the kind of connection you want.
If you are generous member, show it through what you do and what you value. A headline like "I help people I care about" or "I have the time and resources to be generous" does real work. It tells someone what you offer, not what you want to extract.
If you are attractive member, your headline can hint at your expectations too. "I am looking for someone who is secure" or "I want to be with someone I can be honest with" or "Chemistry and respect only, please" tells people what matters to you. It is much more powerful than naming a dollar amount or describing yourself as a "sugar baby" in your headline.
Never mention money, looks or your job
Your headline is not where you list your income or what you do for money. Do not write your salary, your net worth, what you own, or how much you can spend. Anyone who reads your profile can see those facts in the rest of it. In your headline, they read as a purchase offer.
The same is true for your job title. Say you are a surgeon, or a lawyer, or a CEO. Your profession already lives in your profile. Your headline is for something you chose to spend time on, not something that chose you.
And do not compliment yourself on how you look. "Tall and handsome" or "Fit" or "Naturally beautiful" reads as insecurity, because you are doing the work that someone else will do when they see your photos. Let your pictures speak. Let your words speak about who you are.
Read it aloud
A good test is simple: read your headline aloud as if you were saying it to someone you just met at a party. Does it sound like you? Does it sound like words a person would actually say, or does it sound like you are reading from a template?
I restore vintage chairs and I think people should dress for dinner.
That is what it sounds like. It sounds like someone talking.
Attractive, fun, seeking genuine connection with secure man.
You would never say that to someone at a party. Not because it is bad, but because it is not a sentence. It is a list.
Examples that work
A good headline has one specific thing in it. It is between 40 and 80 characters. It does the work of telling someone who you are or what matters to you.
- "I bake bread and I prefer people who read."
- "Cooking dinner for friends is my favourite night."
- "I collect vintage records and I am learning to sail."
- "I think people should know how to tie a tie."
- "I give my time to people I care about."
- "I am looking for someone who is secure in who they are."
- "I spend my weekends at the beach or at home with a book."
- "I believe in being honest about what you want."
None of them is trying to impress you. None of them is selling. They are all just true. And because they are true, they are interesting.
The 80-character limit
Dateable gives you 80 characters for your headline. That is enough for most sentences. If your headline keeps getting longer, you are trying to say too much. Cut it down to one thing. The rest of your profile does the work of showing who you are.
If you really cannot fit what you want to say in 80 characters, your headline is not the right place for it. Write it in your main bio. Your headline does not have to cover everything. It just has to make someone want to read the rest.
What to do now
Write three headlines and read each one aloud. Ask yourself: does it sound like me? Does it tell someone something true? Could only I have written it? The answer to all three should be yes.
If you want to go deeper and rewrite your whole profile, read the guide on writing your profile. If you are ready to message and you want to know how to start a conversation that gets a reply, read how to write a first message. And if you want to see how other people write their profiles, read more about profiles.
