DateableHow to get a friend to take your dating photos
Pick a friend who makes you laugh, give them a short shot list, have them take many photos at your eye level, and choose the best ones yourself.
Pick a friend who makes you laugh, and ask them to take many photos rather than wait for the perfect one. Tell them what shots you want before you start, ask them to step back rather than stand close, and chat while they shoot so your face relaxes. Then choose the photos yourself: you know which ones feel like you.
Pick the right friend
You want someone who makes you laugh and who has time to do it properly. Laughing is what relaxes your face. Plan on an hour, maybe two.
A friend who is also a photographer or who takes a lot of photos for social media is ideal, but it is not necessary. Anyone with a phone camera can do this. What matters is that they will keep shooting until you get the shots you both like.
Give them a shot list before you start
Your friend does not know which photos your profile needs. Show them two or three photos of yourself you like, then give them a short list:
- A clear head-and-shoulders shot, face to camera. Your first public photo on Dateable must show your face.
- A full-length shot in something you would wear on a date.
- One outdoors, in daylight.
- One doing something you enjoy, like cooking, walking or reading.
- A relaxed, mid-conversation shot.
Talk about what you want to feel like in the photos. Do you want to look approachable and warm, or more polished and formal? Do you want to show off a particular outfit or just look like yourself? Do you prefer a certain background? Tell them all of it. The more your friend knows, the better they can help you.
The technical bit: positioning and light
Ask your friend to shoot at your eye level, not above your head or down at your face. This is the most flattering angle for almost everyone. Tell them to step back instead of standing close: this gives you room to move and changes the proportions of your face in a way that works.
Light matters more than most people think. Natural light is your friend: outdoors or near a window is better than indoor artificial light. If it is a bright day, step into the shade so the light is even and you are not squinting. Avoid shooting into the sun, which leaves your face in shadow.
Keep shooting
Ask your friend to take a lot of photos. Do not wait for the perfect moment: keep the camera going while you talk and move. When you relax and stop thinking about being photographed, you look better. Your friend should shoot 50 photos if you want 5 good ones. Most of them will be rubbish, but one in every ten might be the shot you need.
Tell your friend this at the start:
I want you to take loads of photos. Most of them will be terrible and we will laugh at them. We are looking for maybe five that feel like me. Keep going until you get bored or my face stops working.
This gives them permission to keep shooting and takes the pressure off both of you to get it right on the third attempt.
You choose the photos
Once you have the photos, choose yourself. Your friend can flag a favourite, but the final pick is yours: these photos have to feel like you. Look for the shots where you look like yourself, where your eyes are awake, where you are not forcing a smile. Delete any your friend is in, or crop them out.
One tip: photos taken mid-conversation often look better than the ones where you were posing. Ask your friend to shoot while you are talking to them, or while you are laughing, or even while you are thinking. That is when you look real.
Then choose your photos for your profile
Once you have picked your five to ten best photos, take a look at what makes a photo good for your profile. You want a mix: some close-ups, some full body, some in different settings. Avoid photos that all look the same or all show the same outfit.
You can upload up to 12 public photos and 12 private ones. Every photo is reviewed before anyone else sees it, and private photos are seen only by members you grant access. More ideas are in the photos posts.
What if your friend is nervous?
Some friends will feel awkward doing this. Make it easy for them. Tell them this is not a professional photo shoot: it is just two friends hanging out with a camera. Make it fun. Go somewhere you both like. Get coffee first. Do not make them feel like this is a big ask, because it is not: you are just asking them to hold a phone up a lot.
If you are nervous about asking someone to help with something personal, that is normal. Framing it as a fun, casual thing usually works. Most friends are happy to help if they think it will take an hour and involve some laughing.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Asking them to only take one or two photos: you need volume.
- Standing too close to the camera: step back.
- Shooting in terrible light because you want a certain background: find good light first.
- Choosing photos because your friend likes them, not because you do.
- Leaving your friend, or anyone else, in the frame.
- Waiting too long to do this: pick a friend and pick a day.
