DateableHow to check a large deposit before you spend it
Money showing in your account does not mean it is real. Fake deposits can take weeks to be discovered, leaving you in debt.
A deposit showing in your account does not mean you can spend it. Fake cheques and fraudulent transfers can take weeks to be discovered, and by then you may owe the money back. Leave any large deposit untouched until your bank confirms it has cleared.
Why fake deposits look real
In the US, banks must by law make deposited funds available quickly, so money showing in your account does not mean the cheque is good. Fake cheques can take weeks to be discovered and untangled 1. By then, you may have already spent the money and owe it back to your bank.
The scammer benefits twice. First, they ask you to send part of the money back, often by gift card. You send it, thinking you are returning a small portion of a large legitimate deposit. Second, when the cheque fails and the bank reverses the deposit, you are left owing the full amount, and the gift card is long gone.
This is the core of the scam. The deposit never clears because it came from a stolen account, a counterfeit cheque, or a compromised payment method. You have no way to know until days or weeks have passed. By that time, you have sent your own real money in response to a request that felt urgent and reasonable.
The sugar dating variant
Scammers pose as potential sugar parents and offer to pay your bills or debts. They send a large deposit, then claim it was an error. They ask you to return the overage by buying gift cards. Apple iTunes, Google Play, and Steam gift cards are common requests. They ask you to send the codes to them. 2
The deposit came from a stolen account or fake cheque. It disappears when the bank discovers the fraud, but the gift cards are already gone. You are now out the money you sent back, and you may owe the bank the full deposited amount.
What to do if a deposit arrives
- Do not spend it. Leave it alone until the transaction settles. No matter how urgent the request, do not touch the money.
- Call your bank. Use the phone number on the back of your card or the bank's own website, not a number the sender gave you. You need to speak to someone at your actual bank, not to the person who sent the deposit.
- Ask your bank how long it takes for the deposit to fully clear. Different countries and banks have different timelines. They will tell you when it is safe to assume the money is real and will not be reversed.
- If the sender asks you to send any money back while you are waiting, say no. A legitimate sender will understand that you want to verify the deposit first.
- If you have already sent money back, tell your bank straight away. It may not get the money back, but it can block access to any account the scammer has details for 2.
If it feels too good to be true
Offers to pay your debts in full or cover large expenses often come with hidden requests. Scammers create urgency. They may say the transfer is time-sensitive, or that they need to see your bank details to complete it. Red flags include pressure to move the conversation off the dating platform, requests for banking details or your home address, and requests for intimate photos. 2
If someone you have never met in person offers to send you a large amount of money, pause. A genuine arrangement is built on trust and clear communication. Someone who wants to send money first and ask questions later is not building trust. They are setting up the next step of the scam.
Any of these is a sign to stop replying: they push you to take the conversation to WhatsApp or another platform, they ask to verify your bank account, they mention time pressure or limited offers, they talk about money or transfers in the first few messages.
If someone asks you to send money back
Never send money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency because of a cheque someone sent you. 1 No real arrangement requires you to return part of a deposit by gift card. A genuine generous member talks about expectations before sending anything, and never asks you to buy gift cards and send the codes.
Report it
Report the profile on Dateable. This helps keep the community safe. Do not send them any more messages. If they contact you again, block them. Report and block the person and move on.
If you have lost money to this scam, contact your bank straight away and give them the full details. In Australia, report it to Scamwatch too 3.
If the sender pushes you to return the money while you wait, you can reply once and stop:
I'll leave the money where it is until my bank confirms the deposit. If it was a mistake, ask your bank to reverse it.
If you are unsure whether a deposit is safe, ask. Your bank can tell you how deposits work and when money is genuinely yours. Spot a scam covers other patterns to watch for. For safety on the broader platform, read sugar dating safety.
Sources
- Federal Trade Commission (2025). How To Spot, Avoid, and Report Fake Check Scams.
- WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
