DateableSafety checklist for your first weeks of sugar dating
Separate contact details, verify before you meet, choose public places, take your own transport and tell a friend. Never send money or pay to receive anything.
In your first weeks, keep your contact details separate, get verified, video call before you meet, meet in public, take your own transport and tell a friend where you are. Never send money, and never pay a fee to receive any.
Your account: keep it separate
Use an email address and phone number different from the ones you use for work, family, or banking. This is not paranoia. It is the difference between someone finding your dating life and not.
Keep your address, date of birth, workplace and family names private until you trust someone 1. Do not link your dating email to social media, use a first name only, and choose photos with nothing in the background that shows where you live or work.
Verification on Dateable shows the person matches their photos. It does not check identity, income or age documents. Once you are verified, you can apply to the Board and post on it. But verification by Dateable is not a guarantee of character. It is the start of getting to know someone, not the end.
Video call before you meet
Before you meet in person, do a video call. Not a photo, not a phone call: a live video where you can see their face move. Video chat checks that they match who they claim to be 1. Someone who has an excuse not to video call is someone you do not meet.
Scammers build trust through romance online, then ask for money, sometimes after a long time. Excuses to avoid video calls are one of the warning signs 2.
A video call also gives you both a chance to talk. You hear their voice, their rhythm, the way they listen. These things matter more than you might think, and you cannot know them until you try.
Choose a public place
Your first meeting is in public, with other people around 1, and in daylight if you can 3. A cafe, a bar, a walk through a market: somewhere crowded enough that you are not alone. Not their place, not your place, not a hotel room.
If they suggest somewhere private on a first date, say no. If they change the place at the last minute to somewhere you do not know, cancel 1. You are allowed to change your mind, and you do not owe an apology.
The shape that works: a place you chose, a time you picked, and people around. The first date safety guide covers choosing the venue.
Your own transport
Take your own transport so you control when you leave 1. Drive yourself or take a taxi that you book yourself. Do not rely on them for a lift, and do not offer one. You need to leave when you want to leave, and they need to know you can.
When you book a taxi, screenshot the driver's photo and registration. Share that screenshot with a friend who knows where you are. Tell that friend when the date ends and when you expect home. Then call or message them when you arrive.
I usually drive myself to first dates so I can leave whenever I want. I will drive home from wherever we meet.
Tell someone where you are
Before you leave, tell a trusted person 4:
- The other person's first name and the profile name on Dateable
- The venue, the day and the time
- When you expect to be home
- A way to reach you if they need to
After you arrive home, message or call that person to say you are safe 1. If the date runs longer than you expected, send an update. This is not about trust: it is about someone knowing where to start looking if something goes wrong.
Dateable's safety page covers what to do if something feels wrong.
The money rule
Never send money to people you have met through a dating website 4. Not for a plane ticket, not for an emergency, not for anything. This is the simplest rule and the most important.
If someone asks for money before you meet, they are either running a scam or they are bad with boundaries. Either way, you stop talking to them. Scammers ask for money for medical emergencies, plane tickets and visa fees, or offer to help you invest in cryptocurrency 5. Once you send, the next request follows.
Dateable never holds or moves money between members, so no real payment ever needs a fee from you first. If someone asks you to send money, wire a payment, or pay a fee to 'release' one, report the profile and block them. Sugar dating safety lists the common scams.
Screenshot before you meet
Screenshot their profile and your messages before you meet 6. If something goes wrong, these are your record of who they are and what they said. They matter in messages to Dateable, to your friend, or to police.
Save the screenshots on your phone or in a cloud folder separate from your photos. Do not share them online or post them. They are evidence, not gossip.
Charge your phone and watch your drink
Before you leave for the date, charge your phone to full 4. On the date, keep it in your bag or your pocket, not on the table. You need it to reach your friend, to call someone, or to get help if you need to.
Order a drink and keep hold of it 1. Do not accept a drink someone else ordered and handed to you. Do not leave your drink on the table while you visit the bathroom. If your drink sits unwatched, order a new one. If you feel suddenly dizzy or confused, stop drinking, tell someone you trust or the venue staff, and get somewhere safe with someone you trust 7. Spiking is a crime.
If something does not feel right, you can cut the date short. Leave. You do not owe anyone an apology for protecting yourself. You do not owe a kiss, a hug, or any physical contact, even if they paid for dinner. That is yours to give or not, and your body is not payment for a meal.
After the first date
If the date went well, message them the next day. If it did not, you do not owe an explanation. A simple message works: 'I had a nice time but I did not feel a spark' is enough. If they push for reasons or ask you to reconsider, block them and move on.
Keep the money rule and the drink rule for good. The rest you can relax with one person once you have met a few times and trust them.
Sources
- Sexual Assault Resource Centre, North Metropolitan Health Service (Government of Western Australia) (2021). Safe online dating.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
- Victoria Police (2025). Safety tips when meeting someone from online.
- New Zealand Police (2026). Safety advice.
- Federal Trade Commission (2022). What To Know About Romance Scams.
- eSafety Commissioner (2026). Online dating | How to stay safe.
- Gloucestershire Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust (2025). Spiking.
