DateableHow to keep simple records of gifts and support
A private one-line log of dates, gifts and values, plus bank statements, is enough to answer a tax question later or settle a misunderstanding.
Gifts given out of love are not taxable income and do not need to be declared 1. A simple, private one-line log answers the tax question if it ever comes up, and it settles a disagreement about money before it becomes a bigger problem. Records are not complicated. A date, what the gift was, how much it cost, and who gave it. That is enough.
Why a log matters in a dating arrangement
Money in a dating arrangement can feel complicated because people talk about it differently. One person sees support as a gift, another sees it as expected income. One person means to give something once, another thinks it is recurring. Neither of you is lying: you just heard it differently.
A simple log stops this before it becomes a fight. It shows what was actually given, when, and roughly how much. When one of you says later 'I thought you were covering my rent' or 'That was a one-time gift, not monthly', you can look at what actually happened. The log becomes the truth both of you accept.
It also handles the tax side without drama. If your bank deposits are larger than your declared income and the tax office asks about it, you have an answer: these are gifts from my partner. Your log backs that up.
What to note for each gift
Four pieces of information:
- Date (or the month and year, if you are unsure)
- What the gift was (cash, rent payment, handbag, car service, flight, dinner, jewellery)
- How much it cost (or your best guess)
- Who gave it (first name or initials, nothing that identifies them to someone else)
One line per gift. That is all. You do not need invoices, receipts or long descriptions in the log itself. Your bank statement already holds the proof. The log is just a short reminder of what each transaction meant.
If cash was given in person and never touched a bank, write it down anyway: the date, the amount, who gave it. You will not remember in six months, and you might need to account for how you paid something that month.
Where to keep it
A private place: a note in your phone, a password-protected spreadsheet, a hidden folder on your computer. You are not filing it with anyone. It exists purely for you to refer to if a question comes up.
Keep it separate from anything you share with the other person. Your log is not a message to them. It is your record. If you are ever asked about the money, your personal log plus your bank statements together tell the story. Neither one alone can be disputed.
Gifts versus business-like activity
The tax question comes down to this: gifts given out of love are not income. Gifts received as part of a business-like activity are treated differently. If your primary reason for the arrangement is the money, or if both of you explicitly say the money is payment or compensation, the ATO sees it differently 1.
Your records help show the actual terms. If one of you later claims the money was compensation for something, and the other says it was always a gift, your log and your messages create a clear record of what was actually agreed. Even if you argue later, you both agreed at the time.
What people commonly log
Anything given with generosity goes in: cash gifts, rent or bills paid, flights, jewellery, experiences (dinners, spa days, travel). Log it. Some people also note promises that were made and kept: 'agreed to cover phone bill this month'. Others log promises that were broken: 'promised to pay for holiday, then did not'. That is useful too.
Three moments you will need this
- An ATO question, if your income looks different from your bank deposits. Your log explains where the extra money came from.
- A conversation later where you both have different memories. 'I thought that was a one-time gift' or 'You said you would cover rent every month'. You point to the date and the amount and settle it.
- Your own clarity. A log stops you forgetting what was agreed and prevents you accidentally asking for the same thing twice. It also shows patterns: if the support dried up suddenly, or if one person has given far more than the other.
Keeping your privacy
Your log is yours. You do not share it, and you do not show it to the other person unless you are trying to settle a disagreement. Keep your records safe, the same way you keep your messages and your photos private. Only you need access to it.
Start it early
A good time to start a log is when you first talk about money and what you each expect. Write things down as they happen. You will not remember the details in six months, and a written record is the only thing both of you can trust when memories clash.
I want to keep things clear between us. Can we agree that I log what gets given and when, just so we both know the same thing?
Records protect you. They show that both of you were honest about what you were doing. They save you from a conversation where one of you is certain the other broke a promise that was never written down. And if the tax office ever asks, you have an answer.
Sources
- Australian Taxation Office (2026). Amounts you do not include as income.
