DateableRed flags when someone talks about terms
Scammers offer support before you meet, ask for money or fees, pressure you to decide now, and won't video call. Spotting these signs keeps you safe.
A real arrangement is built after two people meet and find they like each other. If someone offers support before you have met or asks you for money, they are either scamming you or testing whether you will fall for it. Red flags are clear: trust them.
They offer support before you have met
Scammers build trust through romance, dating or friendship online, then ask for money. This works because you have invested time and emotion in the relationship. A real match wants to meet first. They want to know whether there is attraction and chemistry before talking about money or support.
Anyone who says "I will give you an allowance once I get to know you better" or "I will transfer money to your account after we meet in person" is reasonable. Anyone who offers to transfer money now, before you have met, is a scammer. They will either not send the money, send a fake payment, or ask you to send it back.
If someone you have just started talking to says "I want to send you money right away", stop. This is not how real sugar dating works. Say: "I appreciate that, but I never accept money or gifts from someone I have not met. Let's plan to meet first."
They ask you for a fee or a payment
A real generous member never asks you for money. They never ask for a fee to "verify" you, a payment to "activate" your account, a deposit to "unlock" their money, or a sum to cover their costs. A site member does not need to pay to arrange support. Dateable is free for attractive members.
Scammers often ask for small amounts first. It might be £50 for a background check or $100 for a transfer fee. It feels minor compared to the support they are promising. Do not send it. Scammers who get a first payment will ask for more. They often use what is called a "near-win" effect, where they hint the money is almost delivered, so you need to send a bit more to unlock it. Each time you pay, they ask again.
They pressure you to decide now
Anyone worth meeting does not rush you. A real match respects that you want to think, ask questions and take your time. Pressure is a warning sign. A scammer creates urgency because it bypasses your good sense.
Pressure sounds like: "I need an answer today", "other girls are interested too", "my visa expires next week", or "I need to know if you are serious". Time-pressured requests for money or information are a pattern scammers follow 1. Real generosity is not urgent. Real chemistry does not evaporate.
They push you to move to WhatsApp
Dateable holds the conversation in its messages. If someone wants to move to WhatsApp, SMS, email or a messaging app, they want to hide the conversation from the platform. Pressure to move to private messaging is a warning sign of romance fraud 2. It puts you outside the protection of the site and makes it harder for you to report them if something goes wrong.
Staying on the platform gives you time to think, lets you screenshot conversations for safety, and means the platform can help if you need to report. A real match does not mind taking a few messages on Dateable before moving elsewhere. If they do, that is useful information.
They make excuses not to meet or video call
A fake profile does not come from a real person. That person cannot sit on camera. That person cannot meet in person. So they make excuses 3: they are working on an oil rig, stationed with the military overseas, stuck in an airport, caring for a sick relative. The excuses often repeat or change. Every time you plan to meet, something comes up.
A real match wants to meet. They will be excited about it. They will suggest a time and a place. If someone keeps finding reasons not to video call or meet in person, they are not who they say they are. Stop talking to them.
They tie money or gifts to what you do in the bedroom
The line between generosity and transactional sex is where money is paid for a sexual act. Sugar dating is not sex for money. It is a relationship where one person is more generous. That generosity can be gifts, experiences, mentoring or support inside a relationship both people chose.
A scammer might say: "I will give you £500 if you send me a private photo", or "After you spend the night with me, I will transfer your allowance". If support is tied to what you do sexually, or if someone is buying specific sexual acts or access, they are looking for sex work, not a relationship. Decline. If they push, report the profile.
What to do if you spot a red flag
- Stop replying to them. Scammers rely on you staying in the conversation.
- Do not send money, photos, documents or information.
- Report the profile on Dateable. Report reaches a person who can investigate and remove the fake account.
- If you sent money or got other scams by email or social media, report them to Scamwatch or your national fraud authority.
- If they asked for intimate photos or threatened to share them, read sugar dating safety for what to do next.
Sources
- Stop! Think Fraud (UK Government) (2026). Protect yourself from romance fraud.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
- Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (2026). Relationship and romance.
