DateableHow to ask a partner not to post or tag you, with examples
Ask your date not to post or tag you before it happens. Tags and check-ins reveal your location and who you're with.
Ask before it happens, as a general rule rather than a complaint: "I keep myself off social media, so please don't post or tag me, even in the background." Tags, check-ins and stories give away where you are and who you are with, so the ask protects your privacy; it is not a verdict on them.
Why tags matter
A tag or a check-in shares your location with everyone who can see your date's profile. A story shows who you are with, and when. Someone who knows you can work out not just where you are, but who you are meeting, how often, and on what day of the week. If you protect your own privacy, this level of detail undoes that work.
In Australia, a photo of you counts as personal information when your identity is clear or could reasonably be worked out. The Privacy Act does not cover individuals acting in a personal capacity, so a date's own post usually comes down to asking. The OAIC's advice is to ask the person who posted it first, then the website 1. General information, not advice.
Ask early, frame it as a rule
The best time to set this boundary is before there is a photo. Phrase it as a general rule you follow, not as a specific concern about this person. This keeps it simple and avoids sounding suspicious or rejecting.
A rule works because it applies to everyone and everything. It is not personal. It sounds reasonable because it is: you have good reasons to keep your dating life private, and most people will understand.
I keep myself off social media, so I'd really appreciate if you didn't post or tag me, even in the background. Same goes for stories with the location tag on. It's just a general thing I do, not about you.
That script names the specific things: posts, tags, the background of someone else's photo, and location tags in stories. If you are comfortable with some but not others, say so. You might be fine with a photo kept on their phone but not one posted, or fine with a post if it has no tag and no location.
Before an event
If you are going somewhere together and you already know a photo might happen, a quick reminder before you go makes it easy.
Just a heads up: would you mind leaving me out of any posts or stories from tonight? My thing about staying off social media, you know.
This works because it is a gentle reminder, not a demand. It gives them a chance to agree and remember before the moment comes. It also clears the air: they know what you want, and you have both agreed, so there is no awkwardness later.
What to do if they have already posted
If a photo of you goes up and you did not ask them to, or they ignored your ask, stay calm. People sometimes forget, or do not understand how serious it is for you. A direct conversation first works better than going straight to the platform.
Hey, I know I asked you not to tag me in photos. Would you mind taking that down? I keep myself off social media and it really does matter to me.
Be specific about what needs to come down: the post, the tag, or the location tag in the story. Ask them to check shared albums and anything reposted by friends. If they will not, report the post to the platform.
If they refuse or do it again, you have learned something about how they respect your boundaries. That is worth knowing before you go further.
Make it mutual
Boundaries work best when they go both ways. If you are asking them not to tag you, think about what you are doing. Are you posting about them? Are you tagging their location? Are you sharing stories that give away where they are?
Offer the same rule back before they ask for it:
And the same goes for me. I won't post you or tag you anywhere.
Your date may want discretion just as much, for reasons of their own. A rule you both keep is easier to hold than one you only ask of them. More on agreeing rules like this in set boundaries.
Before you meet as a plus-one
If you are going to an event together as a plus-one, the same ask applies. A plus-one at a wedding or a party runs a higher risk of ending up in someone else's photos. Make the ask before you go.
I'm really glad I'm going with you. One thing: if you are going to post about the event, would you leave me out of any photos or tags? I just like to keep my dating life private.
Other guests may take photos too. You can step out of group shots, and a quiet "please don't tag me" to anyone who takes one usually works.
Sources
- Office of the Australian Information Commissioner (2026). Photos and videos.
