DateableHow to choose photos for your private album
Use your private album for photos you trust a chosen person to see but want to keep from strangers: clearer face shots, photos in places you go, or everyday moments.
Your private album lets you share photos with one person at a time, without showing them to everyone. Use it for photos you are happy for a chosen person to see but would rather strangers did not: clearer face shots if you are discreet, a photo in a recognisable place, or more personal everyday moments.
What a private photo says
A photo in your public album is a first impression: it says hello and shows what you look like to everyone. A photo in your private album is a second step. It gives someone who has already shown interest in you a better, more complete idea of who you are, where you spend time, and what you look like in daylight or without filters.
Your first public photo has to show your face, so the private album is not for hiding who you are. It is for the clearer, closer and more personal shots: the ones that make you easier to recognise in the street, or show where you spend your time. You decide how much a stranger sees at first glance, and how much a chosen person sees later.
Think before you add a photo to your private album
The difference between public and private is access, not safety. Every photo you add to Dateable, public or private, is reviewed before anyone else sees it. Private does not mean intimate or unguarded: it means you trust the person you have chosen to see it, at least a little.
A good rule: choose only photos you could live with if they were ever shared. You control who opens the album, but you cannot control what someone does with a photo once they have seen it. If you would panic to see a photo passed around, it does not belong in your private album.
What to put in your private album
- A closer, sharper face shot than your public one.
- A photo in a place you like: a favourite restaurant, a beach you go to, a venue you spend time in.
- You doing something you enjoy: reading, cooking, getting ready, whatever shows what your days look like.
- A photo of you smiling or laughing, not posed, to show someone what a conversation with you is like.
- A less filtered or less styled version of yourself: natural light, no makeup, just you.
What not to put in your private album
No sexualised photos. Once shared, they can never be completely deleted and may be used for threats or extortion. 1 Private means chosen viewers, not intimate content.
Do not add a photo to your private album if someone has asked you to, or pressured you to share something more revealing. If a conversation is already pushing you toward intimate photos before you have even met, that is a sign to stop talking. Your private photos are yours to share when you choose, not because someone asked.
Granting and revoking access
Dateable lets you grant private album access to one person at a time, and you can change that at any moment. If someone stops replying, or you lose interest, revoke access from their profile. If you meet someone and decide they are not for you, they do not keep seeing your private photos.
You can let someone see your private album from the start, or wait until you have traded a few messages and feel more certain. Both are fine. There is no rule that says when to open your private album. It is purely your choice.
I keep a few closer photos private. Once we've talked a bit more, I'm happy to open the album for you.
When someone asks to see it
A request for private album access is a question, not a claim on you. Look at their profile and your messages first. Have they asked about you, or only about your photos? Are they verified? If you are not ready, say so and keep talking:
I open my album once I know someone a bit better. Tell me more about you first.
Someone who keeps pushing after that has answered the question for you. Decline the request, and block them if they carry on.
How many photos to add
You can keep up to 12 photos in your private album, the same as your public album. You do not have to use all 12. Three or four thoughtful photos tell a better story than twelve rushed ones.
Before each upload, check the background for a street sign, a house number or a workplace logo. A photo in a favourite restaurant is fine for someone you trust; one outside your front door never is. The private photos guide explains granting and revoking step by step, protect your privacy covers what else gives you away, and more on choosing photos is in photos.
Sources
- Sexual Assault Resource Centre, North Metropolitan Health Service (Government of Western Australia) (2021). Safe online dating.
