DateableWhat to save as evidence if a date harasses or hurts you
Keep profile screenshots, all messages with dates, photos of injuries, the venue name and any witnesses. Never delete the chat. Back it up somewhere safe.
If a date harasses or hurts you, the record you keep matters. Save the profile, every message, photos of any injury or damage, and a written timeline. Keep it backed up somewhere a bad actor cannot reach it, and know who can help you use it.
What to save first
The moment something goes wrong, stop and gather what you have:
- A screenshot of their profile, username and any profile photo.
- Every message between you, in order, with dates and times visible.
- Photos of any physical injury, damage to your belongings or the venue.
- The name and address of the venue where it happened.
- The names or descriptions of anyone who saw what happened.
- A written account made soon after, with the date, what happened, what was said and who was there.
Do this even if you are not sure whether you will report it. You will remember the facts better now than you will in a week. The details matter.
Screenshots: profile and username
Screenshot their profile as it appears now. Include their username, any bio text, and at least one profile photo. A bad actor can delete their profile or change their details, so your screenshot is the record of who they were when you matched.
eSafety advises screenshotting a match's profile and messages before you even meet 1. Police can request information from dating apps, and can investigate even if one of you has blocked or deleted the other 2. Your screenshot is still the copy you control.
Messages: capture the full chain with dates
Do not delete the chat. Take a screenshot or export every message. Make sure the dates and times show. If your phone gives you the option to export the conversation, do that as well as a screenshot; it is better evidence.
If they sent photos or audio through the app, save those separately and note the date they were sent.
Keep the full thread. A single message out of context is less useful than the whole conversation, which shows what was said and in what order. Omit nothing to make the person look better or worse.
Injury or damage: photos with context
If you have a physical injury, take photos in good light that show it clearly. Include one photo with your face in frame, so the injury is clearly yours. Your phone records the date; take more photos over the next few days as bruises change.
If your belongings were damaged, photograph the damage and the item itself. Keep the damaged item if possible.
Go to a doctor or hospital even if you think the injury is small. Medical records are official evidence. Tell the person you see what happened, who did it and when. Ask for a copy of the record and keep it.
The venue and any witnesses
Write down the name, address and any identifying details of the venue. If it was a restaurant or bar, note the date and time you were there.
If anyone saw what happened, get their name and contact details if you can, even just a first name and their phone number or social media. Tell them you may need to ask them about what they saw. If you cannot get their details, make a note of what they looked like and where they were when they saw it.
Venues usually have security cameras. If something happened that is serious, ask venue staff whether the incident was recorded.
Your written timeline
Within hours of the date, write a timeline on your phone or in a notes app. Write what happened, when, who said what, what you did in response. Do not edit for how it sounds. Write what you remember now.
Include the time you arrived, what you did, what changed, when you realised something was wrong, what you did then, and when you left or got away. If you drank anything, note how much. If the person's behaviour changed, say when and how.
Date and time the note itself. Add to it later if more comes back to you, but keep the first version.
Back it up where they cannot find it
Do not keep the only copy in the chat or on one phone. Phones get lost, broken or taken.
Send the screenshots and timeline to a friend you trust. Upload them to cloud storage with a password nobody else knows, and turn on two-step sign-in. If you ever shared passwords or a device with this person, change those passwords first.
If the abuse includes intimate images shared without your consent, you can use StopNCII to submit a hash (digital fingerprint) of the image, which helps platforms find and remove it without sharing the image itself 3.
Who to show it to
Report what happened to Dateable, and block the person so they cannot see or message you.
If someone harassed, stalked, threatened or sexually assaulted you, report it to police. Reporting to an app is not the same as reporting to police: apps are not investigators. In Victoria there is no time limit to report a sexual offence 2.
In the UK, the National Stalking Helpline (0808 802 0300) is free and advises on gathering evidence, the law and local services 4.
If you need someone to talk to or help working out next steps, read what help is available.
Sources
- eSafety Commissioner (2026). Online dating | How to stay safe.
- Victoria Police (2025). Dating apps, online platforms, and sexual offences.
- StopNCII.org (Revenge Porn Helpline, SWGfL) (2026). Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Image Abuse.
- Suzy Lamplugh Trust (2026). National Stalking Helpline.
