Guides

If something goes wrong: assault, blackmail, image abuse, fraud

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What to do in the first hour and first day after an assault, a sextortion threat, an intimate image shared or money lost, and who to call in your country.

9 minute readUpdated 2026-09-30

By the end of this page you will be safe, you will have kept the evidence that matters, and you will have told the right people in the right order. Find what happened to you in the table below, follow that section's first hour, then its first day.

Keep this page open. Each step is short, and each one says why it comes where it does. Nothing here is your fault. If someone hurts you after you meet, it is not your fault ¹, and sexual assault is never the fault of the person assaulted, whatever they wore, where they were or what they drank ².

Find what happened

More than one can happen at once. Blackmail often follows a fake profile, and fraud often ends in a threat. Work through each section that fits, starting with the one that carries physical risk.

Before anything else: keep the evidence

Every section below depends on this, so do it once, now, in two minutes.

1. Screenshot the profile. Name, photos, headline, city. A scammer can change or delete them, and eSafety advises screenshotting a person's profile and messages ¹.
2. Screenshot the whole conversation, from the first message, with dates showing. Do the same for any other app you moved to.
3. Write down what happened off the screen: the day, the time, the place, the words used. Memory fades fast after a shock.
4. Do not delete anything, even if it hurts to see it. Police can request information from dating apps and investigate even after one person blocked or deleted the other ⁵, but your copy is faster.
5. Save it somewhere private: a locked folder or an email to yourself, not a shared album.

Assault

Consent means knowingly and freely agreeing. You cannot consent if you are threatened, scared, asleep, unconscious, or impaired by alcohol or drugs, and you can withdraw it at any time ². A dinner, a gift or an allowance buys nothing: you do not owe your date anything, even if they paid ³.

The first hour

1. Get somewhere safe. A friend's place, a busy venue, your own locked home, a hospital. Distance from the person comes first because everything else can wait.
2. Tell one person you trust. Healthdirect advises it ². They can sit with you, drive you, and later confirm what you said and when.
3. Get medical help. A hospital, clinic or sexual assault service ². Injuries are not always visible, and a doctor can treat you whether or not you ever go to police.
4. If you think a drink was spiked, say so at once. Many drugs leave the body within 8 to 72 hours, so testing quickly matters ⁶.

If the words will not come, read this to the person you call:

"Something happened with someone I met on a date. I'm safe now but I need help. Can you come and be with me while I call a support service?"

The first day

1. Call a support line. In Australia, 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732, or text 0458 737 732) counsels on sexual assault, stalking and image abuse ⁷; Full Stop Australia is on 1800 385 578 ². They explain your choices without pushing you into any.
2. Decide about police in your own time. Reporting to Dateable is not the same as reporting to police: dating apps are not investigators ⁵. In Victoria there is no time limit to report a sexual offence ⁵. For a non-urgent report in Australia, call 131 444 ³.
3. Report the member to Dateable. Report from their profile or your conversation, then block. It protects the next person they message.

"I want to report a sexual assault. I met the person through a dating site. I have screenshots of their profile and our messages."

Blackmail (sextortion)

Sextortion is blackmail: someone threatens to share an intimate image of you to get money or more images. It is a serious crime to report to police ⁸. Some blackmailers have nothing and only claim to; others recorded a video call or tricked someone into sending a photo ⁸.

The first hour

1. Pay nothing. If you pay, they come back for more ⁹. Payment tells them you are worth pressing.
2. Send nothing more. No more images, no ID, no contacts list ⁸.
3. Stop all contact ¹⁰. Do not negotiate, plead or argue. Every reply buys them time.
4. Screenshot the threat, their profile and any payment details they gave. Those details help police and the platform.
5. Block and report them on Dateable and on every other app they used ⁹.

If you want one last line before you block, keep it to this:

"I won't pay and I won't reply again. This has been reported to the police."

The first day

1. Report to eSafety in Australia. eSafety can help stop the threats and have content removed ¹⁰.
2. Report to police. There are criminal laws against image-based abuse, so police may be able to investigate ¹⁰. In Western Australia you can also call WA ScamNet on 1300 30 40 54 or Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 ⁹.
3. Tighten your accounts. Set social profiles to private and hide your friends list, so there is less to threaten you with.

Image abuse

Image-based abuse is sharing, or threatening to share, an intimate image or video of someone without their consent ¹⁰. It covers fakes too: in Canada the law includes AI-made images likely to be mistaken for a real recording ¹¹, and Australia passed a federal law on deepfake sexual material in 2024 ¹².

The first hour

1. Record where it is. Screenshot the post, the page address and the account name. You need these to ask for removal.
2. Do not contact the person who shared it. Contact gives them a reaction and a reason to post again.
3. Make a hash with StopNCII. StopNCII.org makes a digital fingerprint of the image on your own device; only the fingerprint is shared, never the image, and partner companies use it to block copies ¹³. You can use it if you are the person in the image, were 18 or over when it was taken, and still have it ¹³.

The first day

1. Ask for removal. In Australia, report to eSafety ¹⁰. In the UK, the Revenge Porn Helpline helps adults report and remove content, on 0345 6000 459 ¹⁴. In the US, the TAKE IT DOWN Act requires covered platforms to remove non-consensual intimate images, including deepfakes, when asked ¹⁵.
2. Report to police. In NSW it is an offence to record, share, or threaten to share an intimate image without consent, and a court can order the images destroyed ¹⁶. In Canada, sharing an intimate image without consent carries up to 10 years in prison ¹¹.
3. Report it on Dateable if the person is a member, and block them.

"An intimate image of me has been posted without my consent at this address. I am the person in it. Please remove it."

Fraud

Dateable never holds, moves or guarantees money between members, and a Board listing may not ask a guest to pay. So any request for a fee, deposit or 'loyalty' payment is not from Dateable. A known sugar dating scam asks for a small payment first, or deposits money and asks for part back as gift cards, then disappears ¹⁷.

The first hour

1. Call your bank. Straight away, using the number on your card ¹⁸. It may not recover the money, but it can block access to compromised accounts ¹⁷.
2. If you paid with a gift card, call the gift card company and keep the card and the receipt ¹⁹.
3. Stop moving money for anyone. If someone asked you to receive and forward funds, stop: moving money for crime can lead to criminal charges ²⁰. Tell your bank about any strange deposits.
4. Change passwords and turn on multi-factor authentication if you shared any codes or logins ²¹.

"I've been scammed. I sent money on [date] to [account]. Please stop any pending payments and secure my accounts."

The first day

1. Report the scam. In Australia, report to Scamwatch ¹⁸ and call IDCARE on 1800 595 160, a free service for people in Australia and New Zealand ²². In the UK, use Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 ²³. In the US, report at ic3.gov ²⁴. In New Zealand, contact Netsafe or Police on 105 ²⁵.
2. Report the profile on Dateable and block. See how to spot a scam for the patterns to flag.

Report it to Dateable

Signed in, report from the member's profile, your conversation or the Board listing, so the team sees exactly what you saw. Then block: a blocked member no longer sees you in search, on the Board or in messages. Your blocked list sits in Settings, where you can also pause your account; paused, you are hidden and your data stays. Not signed in, or it happened away from the app, use the report page. The steps are in how to report and block.

A block stops at Dateable. If you shared a number, a handle or your surname, block the person there too.

Who to call, by country

Anywhere, StopNCII.org blocks copies of an intimate image on partner platforms ¹³.

The days after

• Distress is normal, even with no money lost. People fooled by a romance scammer report real distress whether or not they paid ³³.
• Talk to someone. Lifeline answers 13 11 14 around the clock in Australia ²⁹, and Beyond Blue's counsellors answer 1300 22 4636, no diagnosis needed ³⁴.
• Come back when you choose. Before your next date, read the first date safety checklist and Dateable's safety page.

Questions people ask

What should I do right after a sexual assault?

Get somewhere safe, tell one person you trust, and get medical help from a hospital, clinic or sexual assault service. If you think a drink was spiked, say so, because many drugs leave the body within 8 to 72 hours. In Australia, 1800RESPECT answers 1800 737 732 day and night. Call 000 if you are in danger or hurt. Decide about police in your own time.

Should I pay someone threatening to share my nudes?

No. Paying brings more demands, because it shows the threat works. Send nothing more, stop all contact, screenshot the threat and the account, then block and report them on every app they used. In Australia, report to eSafety, which can help stop threats and remove content, and to police. Sextortion is a serious crime, and the shame belongs to the blackmailer.

How do I get an intimate image of me taken down?

Screenshot where it appears, with the address and account name, then ask for removal. In Australia, report to eSafety. In the UK, call the Revenge Porn Helpline on 0345 6000 459. In the US, covered platforms must remove non-consensual intimate images when asked. StopNCII.org can fingerprint the image on your own device so partner platforms block copies.

I sent money to a scammer. Can I get it back?

Call your bank straight away. It may not recover the money, but it can block access to compromised accounts and stop pending payments. If you paid by gift card, call the card company and keep the receipt. Report to Scamwatch in Australia, Report Fraud in the UK or ic3.gov in the US. Ignore anyone offering to recover your money for a fee: that is a second scam.

Is there a time limit to report a sexual assault to police?

In Victoria there is no time limit to report a sexual offence or assault. Other places have their own rules, so ask a support service or police where you live. If you are not ready today, keep your screenshots and notes somewhere private; they will still be there. A support line can explain your choices without pushing you into any of them.

Is reporting to a dating app the same as reporting to police?

No. A dating site can review, block and remove a member, but it is not an investigator. Police can request information from dating apps and investigate even after one person blocked or deleted the other. For assault, blackmail, image abuse or fraud, report to both. On Dateable, report from the profile, conversation or listing, then block the member.

What is a money recovery scam?

After someone loses money to a scam, strangers contact them claiming they can get it back for a fee or a percentage. They pose as lawyers, police, officials or charities. You will not recover any money, and they will take more. Reject every recovery offer from a stranger and work only with your own bank and the official reporting services in your country.

Sources

1. eSafety Commissioner (2026). Online dating | How to stay safe.
2. Healthdirect Australia (2023). Sexual assault and rape.
3. Sexual Assault Resource Centre, North Metropolitan Health Service (Government of Western Australia) (2021). Safe online dating.
4. Government of Canada (2026). Mental health support: Get help.
5. Victoria Police (2025). Dating apps, online platforms, and sexual offences.
6. Gloucestershire Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust (2025). Spiking.
7. 1800RESPECT (2026). 1800RESPECT.
8. Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Threat scams.
9. Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection and WA Police (2024). Alarm at young adults and teenagers caught up in 'sextortion' scams.
10. eSafety Commissioner (2026). Image-based abuse (including revenge porn, sextortion and nude image blackmail).
11. Government of Canada (Justice Laws Website) (2026). Criminal Code, section 162.1: Publication, etc., of an intimate image without consent.
12. Parliament of Australia (2024). Criminal Code Amendment (Deepfake Sexual Material) Act 2024.
13. StopNCII.org (Revenge Porn Helpline, SWGfL) (2026). Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Image Abuse.
14. Revenge Porn Helpline (SWGfL) (2026). Revenge Porn Helpline.
15. United States Congress (GovInfo) (2025). Public Law 119-12: TAKE IT DOWN Act.
16. Legal Aid NSW (2017). Crimes Amendment (Intimate Images) Act 2017.
17. WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
18. Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
19. Federal Trade Commission (2023). Avoiding and Reporting Gift Card Scams.
20. Commodity Futures Trading Commission (2023). Customer Advisory: Beware Offers to Receive and Forward Money.
21. Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Account or identity takeover scams.
22. IDCARE (2026). IDCARE.
23. GOV.UK / City of London Police (2025). Report Fraud: new service from City of London Police.
24. Federal Bureau of Investigation, Internet Crime Complaint Center (2025). 2024 IC3 Annual Report.
25. New Zealand Police (2021). Don't let a love scam break your heart.
26. Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Money recovery scams.
27. Suzy Lamplugh Trust (2026). National Stalking Helpline.
28. National Domestic Violence Hotline (2026). The Hotline.
29. Lifeline Australia (2026). Lifeline Australia.
30. Whakarongorau Aotearoa (New Zealand Telehealth Services) (2026). 1737.
31. Samaritans (2026). Contact a Samaritan.
32. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (2026). 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
33. Buchanan, T., & Whitty, M. T. (2013). The online dating romance scam: causes and consequences of victimhood.
34. Beyond Blue (2026). Talk to a counsellor.