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Safety
Meet safely, protect your identity and spot trouble early.
Phone and account security checklist before you start dating
Secure your phone and email with a PIN lock, strong unique passwords and multi-factor authentication before you meet anyone online.
What to say to bar staff when you feel unsafe on a date
Go to the bar or bathroom and ask staff plainly for help getting out. They can call a taxi, give you a safe space or call security.
What to check before you go to a date's home for the first time
Give a friend the address and your time home, take your own transport, share your location, and know you can leave at any point, whatever you planned.
How to accept a ride home without giving away your address
Book the ride yourself on your own phone, or end the ride at a busy spot near home. A ride booked on their phone shows them your address.
How to check your date got home safely, with examples
Send one short message asking only for a reply once they are home, and give one follow-up if they do not answer. Never ask for their address or a photo.
What to save as evidence if a date harasses or hurts you
Keep profile screenshots, all messages with dates, photos of injuries, the venue name and any witnesses. Never delete the chat. Back it up somewhere safe.
How to set up an exit call with a friend, with examples
Agree on a call time, a code word, and an excuse your friend knows about. It gives you a way to leave without arguing if the date goes wrong.
How to tell a match your safety rules without sounding suspicious
State your safety rules once, early, and as your standard for everyone. Pair them with warmth, say them while planning the date, and do not apologise.
What to do in the first hours after a sexual assault
Get somewhere safe, tell someone you trust, and get medical care. It is never your fault, whatever you wore or drank. You can take the next step when you are ready.
How to get help if someone from a dating app is stalking you
Stop all contact, record every incident, and call a service that helps with stalking. Know what to watch for and how to report.
How to get help if an arrangement turns abusive
Abuse includes controlling your money and monitoring you, not only violence. A 24-hour service can help you plan a safe way out.
Should you give a match your address so they can send a gift?
No. Collect the gift on a date, or use a parcel locker or post office pick-up. A request for your address is a red flag in the sugar baby scam.
Should you go on a date when nobody knows where you are?
No. Tell one trusted person who, where and when. A check-in is not a leak; it is a safety step that police and health services all name.
How to help a date feel safe meeting you
Suggest two public places and let them choose. Never collect them. Keep drinks in their sight and end when you said you would.
Helplines to save in your phone before a date
Emergency numbers and support lines for sexual assault, violence and stalking in Australia, New Zealand, the UK, the US and Canada to call or text 24 hours.
Should you agree to keep an arrangement secret from everyone?
Discretion and keeping the arrangement quiet are not the same as isolation. If someone pressures you to tell nobody, that is a warning sign.
What not to tell a match until you trust them
Keep your home address, workplace, surname, date of birth and regular places private until you have met several times.
How to keep your drink safe on a date
Watch your drink from bar to hand and never return to one you left unattended. It is impossible to tell if a drink has been spiked, so stay alert on dates.
What to say when a match says your safety rules mean distrust
You do not know each other yet, and trust comes from meetings, not before. If they push back on your safety rules, that pressure itself is a warning sign.
Should you meet a match who wants to meet the same day?
Usually no. Time pressure is a warning sign of romance fraud. A day or two costs a genuine person nothing. Take time to chat and video call first.
How to meet a date at your hotel without inviting them up
Meet in the lobby bar, set boundaries in your invitation, and walk them to a taxi at the door. A hotel bar is public and safe; your room is neither.
Should you meet a match who will not video call?
No. A camera that never works is one of the clearest signs of a catfish or scammer. Ask once for a video call, then move on.
Myth: if you were drinking, an assault was partly your fault
It is never the fault of the person assaulted, whatever they drank, wore or agreed to earlier. The law is clear.
Myth: after a few good dates you can drop your safety plan
A stranger at date four is still a stranger. Keep these basics longer: who knows where you are, your own way home, and your next visit planned.