DateableShould you meet a match who will not video call?
No. A camera that never works is one of the clearest signs of a catfish or scammer. Ask once for a video call, then move on.
No. If someone will not video call you, do not meet them in person. A camera that never works is one of the clearest signs of a catfish or scammer, and a two-minute call is enough to check they match their photos.
Why you should ask before you meet
A video call is the fastest way to check that the person in front of you is who they say they are. It does not take much: two minutes, once, before you plan a date. It shows their face, their voice, and whether they look like their photos.
If they will not do it, or they keep putting it off, they are telling you something. Either they are not who they claim to be, or they have something to hide. Either way, that is your answer.
The standard excuses
Scammers and catfish have favourite reasons for avoiding a camera. They work overseas or on an oil rig. They are travelling for work. Their phone is broken, or their camera is. They are going through a divorce and do not want their lawyer to see them dating. The wifi where they are is too slow. They tried to call but you missed it (but somehow they never sent a message about it).
None of these are reasons to skip a two-minute video call. Someone who wants to meet you will find two minutes. Someone who will not is not worth your time.
What makes a video call a warning sign
A warning sign is not a one-off delay. People get busy. A warning sign is a pattern. They always have a reason why not now. They suggest calling "soon" but never set a time. They offer to call but only when you are not available. After a week or two of this, the pattern is clear: they are avoiding it on purpose.
Scammers in particular avoid meeting or video calls 1. If someone has been chatting with you for more than a week and still has not video called, ask yourself why you are still waiting for them to change their mind.
Red flags you might have already missed
- They love you or say they want to meet you, but they have never seen your face live.
- They ask you to move to WhatsApp or another app very quickly, away from the dating platform.
- They ask personal questions but tell you very little about their own life.
- Their story keeps changing: they were in London last week, now they are in Singapore.
- Every photo looks professional, or all the photos look like they were taken at the same time.
Any one of these by itself might mean nothing. A pattern of them means you are likely talking to a scammer or catfish, and a video call will not happen no matter how patient you are.
How to ask for a video call
Keep it simple. Pick a real time. Do not ask if they want to, ask when they can:
I'd like to see your face before we meet. Can you video call me Sunday at 7 pm your time? Just five minutes.
If they say yes and it works, great. If they say yes and then cancel at the last minute, note it. If they say no, or they say maybe and never follow through, that is your answer.
What to do when they will not
Ask once. If they say no or put it off, stop waiting and move on. Do not ask a second time. Do not accept a compromise (a photo, a voice call, "soon"). You have given them one chance. People who want to meet you will take it.
If you have already sent photos or personal details, do a reverse image search on their photos. Search their name and location online. Check whether their story matches across platforms 2. If you spot a lie, block them and report the profile.
If the relationship is already deep and they are starting to ask for money or help with something, stop replying and report the profile. Money requests from someone who will not show their face are the classic pattern of a scammer 1.
Verification shows they match their photos
Verification on Dateable is a live selfie compared to the profile photos by a reviewer. It shows the person matches who they say they are. A verified member is one less thing to worry about when you meet.
Not all members are verified, and some genuine people have not done it yet. Verification is not a guarantee of safety, and lack of it is not proof of a scam. But it is one signal, and combined with a video call, it gives you more confidence.
A word on scam patterns
Catfish and scammers are clever about building trust. They take time. They seem interested in you. They remember details you told them. They make you feel seen. That is what makes it work: they feel real until they do not.
A video call is one of the few things they cannot fake without being caught. Use it. If they will not, they have told you the truth without saying a word. Believe them, and read more about spotting a scam so you know the other patterns to watch for.
Sources
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
- Get Cyber Safe (Government of Canada) (2023). Spot the signs of a catfish on dating platforms.
