DateableHow to get help if someone from a dating app is stalking you
Stop all contact, record every incident, and call a service that helps with stalking. Know what to watch for and how to report.
Stalking after a date is unwanted contact, tracking or monitoring by someone you met on a dating app who will not accept that the relationship is over. Stop all contact with them, record every incident, and call a stalking service in your country that can help you plan your next steps and report to police.
What stalking and monitoring look like
After a date or a brief arrangement, stalking can take many forms. They may message you repeatedly even though you have said no. They may drive past your house or turn up at places where you go. They may call from different numbers when you block them. They may check your location through social media, watch your stories, or ask your friends about you. All of these are stalking.
Monitoring is when someone tracks your movements, your finances or your relationships without your knowledge or agreement. It is not love. It is control, and it is never acceptable. You might notice they always know where you are, what you are doing, or who you have seen. They may have access to your passwords or accounts. They may show up at work or home when you have not told them where you work or live. Any of these is a serious warning sign.
Stalking often starts small: a few extra messages, a follow on social media, a comment on your post. It can escalate. Getting outside help early is not overreacting.
Stop all contact
Block them on every platform: the dating app, your phone, email, social media, and messaging apps. Do not reply to messages, even to ask them to stop. Do not tell them why you are ending contact. Each reply you send, even a rejection, tells them the message got through, and gives them hope for a response next time.
If they contact you through new numbers, new accounts or other people, do not engage. Save the messages and note the calls, but do not reply. One final message to make them understand rarely works: it shows them you are still reading.
Be consistent. Do not unblock them to see what they are doing, or respond because you feel bad for them. Your safety matters more than their feelings.
Record everything
Keep a record of each incident: the date, the time, what happened and how you found out. Save the messages, screenshots, or recordings. If they appeared in person, note where you were, who was with you, and what they said or did.
Why this matters: police and stalking services need this record. They want to know whether the behaviour is escalating, how often it happens and how long it has been going on. Your record is evidence.
Call a stalking service
These free services help people who are being stalked or monitored: they listen, advise on staying safe and gathering evidence, and point you to local help.
- Australia: 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, 24 hours a day, or text 0458 737 732, online chat or video call. It helps with stalking and monitoring 1.
- United Kingdom: National Stalking Helpline 2 on 0808 802 0300. They give information on local services, the law, gathering evidence, and advocacy support.
- United States: The Hotline on 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or chat online, 24/7. It offers safety planning and referrals to local legal help 3.
Other countries: search for "stalking helpline" or "domestic violence hotline" where you live. If your country does not have a stalking service, a domestic violence service can help.
Report to Dateable and to police
Report their profile to Dateable with the report button on their profile or in your messages, and block them. Write what has happened: the dates, what they did, and where. A report reaches a person. It is not the same as a report to police, but it puts the behaviour on record with the platform.
After you have reported to Dateable, report to police. Take your record with you. Tell them:
- What happened and when
- How you know them and how long you have been in contact
- Whether they know where you live, work or spend time
- Whether you are afraid
- Whether they have weapons or have used violence
- Any witnesses to the stalking, even if they only saw one incident
Bring screenshots, recordings, messages and your written record of dates and times. If the behaviour is treated as minor, explain that it is a pattern and show the record. Ask for the officer's name and a reference number for your report. You can then refer to this number if they contact you again or if the behaviour escalates.
If you are in immediate danger, call 000 (Australia), 999 (United Kingdom) or 911 (United States).
Tighten your privacy and account settings
While you are gathering evidence, limit what they can see about you. Make your social media accounts private and check who can see your location, your photos and your stories. Ask close friends not to post photos of you or say where you are.
Change your passwords and turn on two-factor authentication on every account. Check your phone for location sharing you did not set up, and check your car and bags if they always seem to know where you are.
Ask the stalking service about your routine and your home. Varying your route, telling your workplace, or staying with someone for a while can all be part of a safety plan, and they can help you decide what fits.
Why you need outside help
Stalking feels personal and frightening. It is easy to feel embarrassed or to wonder whether you did something to cause it. You did not. Stalking is a choice they make, not a response to something you did.
A stalking service knows the law where you live and what evidence police need, and it can help you feel less alone. Blocking and reporting stop the contact on one app; a specialist service helps you plan beyond it. Dateable's guide on what to do if something goes wrong lists the next steps after a date.
Sources
- 1800RESPECT (2026). 1800RESPECT.
- Suzy Lamplugh Trust (2026). National Stalking Helpline.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (2026). The Hotline.
