DateableHow to tell a fake payment notice from a real one
Check your own banking app and nothing else. A screenshot, email or text saying money is pending until you pay a fee is a scam, every time.
Check your own banking app and nothing else. A screenshot, email or text saying money is "pending" until you pay a fee is always a scam.
The pattern: promise first, ask for money after
The scammer tells you they will send you money. They show you a screenshot or email saying the transfer is on the way. It looks official. Then they ask you to pay a small fee to release it, or tell you a mistake happened and ask you to send the money back by gift card.
This is the core of the scam: they never send you anything real, but they get you to send them money first 1. By the time you realise the promised payment never landed, your fee or refund has already gone to the scammer.
Two versions you will see
The first version is straightforward. The scammer says they will cover your costs: your rent, your phone bill, an expense you mentioned. They offer a large amount. They show you a fake email or screenshot that says it is "pending approval" or "pending transfer". They tell you they need a small fee to release it. They might say it is a banking fee, a processing charge, proof of your loyalty, or a security deposit.
I can deposit $5000 to your account straight away, but the transfer needs a $500 admin fee first. I will add it to the next payment so you get it back.
The second version is more elaborate 1. The scammer deposits a large sum into your account, or tells you they have. You see it in your banking app. Then they say it was a mistake: they meant to send less, or sent it to the wrong person. They ask you to send the extra back. They suggest you buy gift cards to make it easy: Apple iTunes, Google Play, Steam. They ask you to text or email them the codes from the back of the cards.
The deposit came from fraudulent accounts, so it disappears, and you are left in debt for what you sent 1.
What a real transfer looks like
A real transfer needs nothing from you. It shows in your own banking app, opened by you, not in a screenshot or an email someone forwards. And even money that does show can be reversed if it came from a stolen account, so never send any of it back 1.
If a message says money is pending and you must pay a fee to release it, that fee is the scam. Any fee your own bank charges comes out of the transfer; it is never paid by you to the sender. No real person asks you to buy gift cards to unlock a deposit.
What to reply
You do not owe an explanation. If you want to answer once before you report, keep it short:
I don't pay anything to receive money. If you've sent it, it will show in my bank. Until then, there's nothing to discuss.
Then stop. A scammer will reply with urgency ("it expires today"), guilt ("after everything I've offered") or a new fee. Each of those confirms it. Screenshot the conversation first, then report and block.
Never log in through a link in the message
Some fake payment notices include a link to "confirm" the transfer or "verify your account". Do not click it. Links in messages can take you to a fake website that looks exactly like your bank, but is not. When you log in there, the scammer has your username and password. They can drain your account, change your security details and lock you out.
If you receive a message with a banking link, ignore it. Open your banking app directly or go to your bank's website by typing the address yourself. Never start from a link in an email, text or message.
What to do right now if you have already sent money
- Stop all contact with the person who sent the message. Do not reply, do not explain, do not negotiate.
- Log into your bank's app or website and look at recent transactions. Check that nothing else has left your account.
- Call your bank straight away. It may not get the money back, but it can block access to compromised accounts 1.
- Change your passwords if you entered them anywhere after the first message. Use strong, unique passwords.
- If you gave away ID documents or account details, IDCARE (1800 595 160) helps with identity recovery 2.
- Report the profile to Dateable, with the screenshots, and report the scam to Scamwatch 2.
Keep your banking details to yourself before you meet; the guide to money and records covers what to share and when. Talk about any allowance only after you have met in person. The other patterns are in how to spot a scam.
Sources
- WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
