DateableWhat to write to the guest you accepted on the Board
Send your accepted guest a message with the venue, time, dress code, how to get there, what you offer, and an easy question to confirm.
A message to your newly accepted guest does one thing: it gives them all the information they need to say yes and show up. Send it within a day of accepting their application. Your message should include the place, the time, the dress code, how they get there and home, what your offer covers, and one easy question so they can confirm inside 48 hours.
Why this message matters
An accepted guest is excited and nervous at the same time. They have sent you a note, and you have chosen them. Now they need to know whether this is real, whether it suits them, and whether they can trust you.
A detailed first message answers those questions. It shows you are organised and serious. It removes guesswork. It gives them time to think about the logistics instead of wondering if you are real.
The place and time
Be specific. Do not say "a bar in the city" and do not ask them to pick. Give them the venue name, the address, the day and the time. They will look it up on their phone, check how to get there, and decide whether it works.
Let's meet at Beacon, 150 Pitt Street, Sydney, on Thursday 5 October at 6pm. I have a table booked.
If you are suggesting something beyond a single date, be just as clear. "Dinner every Wednesday for the next month" is clear. "Something regular" is not.
Dress code and what to expect
Tell them what you will be wearing, or what kind of place it is. "Smart casual" means nothing until they know whether you are in a polo shirt or a blazer. Paint the picture:
It's a smart restaurant with a fireplace. Most people wear a dress or smart trousers. I'll be in a navy blazer.
If the date has a particular focus, name it. If you are going to the opera, the tennis, a private gallery, a hotel bar or a restaurant with a long tasting menu, say so. That is part of what they are accepting.
How they get there and home
Tell them how you are managing transport. You have options:
- "I'll pick you up from the station at 6:15 and drop you home after."
- "It's ten minutes' walk from Central station. I'll be waiting inside the front door."
- "I'll arrange a car for you both ways. You'll get the details by text."
- "We can catch a taxi from here to the next place if you'd like."
If you are collecting them, give a place and a time. If they are getting themselves there, give them the public transport option. Do not leave it vague. An accepted guest who does not know how to get home is an accepted guest who will not show up.
What your offer covers
You have already written what you offer in your Board invitation. Now say it again in this message, specifically. Are you buying dinner? Drinks? A hotel room? How much are you spending, or what is the arrangement?
Dinner and drinks are on me. If you'd like to stay overnight, I have a suite booked at the hotel next door.
If your offer includes a gift or an allowance, name it. If it is ongoing and you both want to discuss terms after you meet, say that too:
For this dinner I'm giving you a thousand dollars. If we both want to continue, we can talk about a longer arrangement next time we meet.
Clarity here is respect. It is not romantic to be vague about money. It is the thing that trips up good relationships.
Ask for confirmation
End your message with one easy question. Do not ask for their life story or their opinion on the date. Ask whether this suits them and when they can reply:
Does Thursday work for you? I need to know by Friday so I can confirm the table.
Give them a deadline. 48 hours is standard. It shows you have a real booking and it stops them from sitting on the message for a week.
If they say yes, reply with a confirmation and your phone number. If they say no, reply to thank them and leave the door open. If they do not reply by your deadline, send one light follow-up. After that, you have your answer.
Keep it short
Your message should be one or two paragraphs. It carries the facts and nothing else. Anything longer reads as a novel. Anything shorter leaves them guessing.
You have already said who you are and what you want in your Board invitation. This message is not the place to repeat it. This message is only for logistics.
What you have already done right
You have accepted their application and written something kind in your reply. You have thought about what makes a good first date. You are a member who is serious about being generous and respectful of the other person's time.
This message is the next step. Send it soon, send it clear, and you have done your part.
