Should you give a partner a gift card?

Yes, if you hand over a wrapped card in person to someone you have met. Never send codes by message on request: that is the pattern a scammer uses.

4 minute readUpdated 2026-09-30

A gift card is a thoughtful gift when you hand it over in person, wrapped, to someone you have met. It is not a gift when you send the codes by message after someone asks, which is how a scammer pays. The difference is simple: a wrapped card is a present; codes sent on request are a payment.

When a gift card is genuinely a gift

You choose the store, buy a physical card or a digital one that you present in person, and hand it over as a present. They unwrap it and see your thoughtfulness. It is a real gift, and it costs you what it costs.

You know the person well enough to know whether they like that store. A gift card to somewhere you have taken them together, or somewhere they mentioned, shows that you listen. It is personal because you chose it.

Physical gift cards come with a receipt that shows the amount and the purchase date. Digital cards come in an email you sent from your own account. Either way, there is a record that you bought it and the date you gave it. That record is the opposite of codes sent anonymously by message, which leave no trace of who bought them or when.

When a request for gift card codes is a scam

A scammer will ask you to buy gift cards and send the codes by message. They create urgency: there is an emergency, a business deal, a fee to move money, a surprise for their family. They tell you exactly which cards to buy and where to buy them, and they ask for the numbers and the PIN behind the code. ¹

This pattern is so common that generous members should see it as a warning sign. The same request comes from people who claim to want to meet but always have an excuse, from people who ask for money, and from people who use fake photos and invented stories to build trust before they ask for a payment. A person who genuinely cares about you will not create artificial urgency or tell you exactly what to buy.

I need you to buy three iTunes cards from the supermarket and send me the codes so I can set up an account for my niece's birthday. Send them as soon as you can.

If someone you have not met in person is asking for gift card codes, stop replying to them and report their profile. There is no legitimate reason for a stranger who wants to meet you to ask for codes sent by message rather than a physical card handed over in person.

Why gift card codes are a scammer's favourite

A scammer prefers gift card codes to money transfer because codes are untraceable. Once the scammer has the numbers and the PIN, the money is gone. You cannot call a bank to report the fraud. The gift card company cannot reverse the transaction. The scammer can use the codes immediately and sell them to someone else. Gift cards offer the scammer speed, anonymity and finality.

That is why scammers do not ask for a bank transfer or a wire, even though they could. They ask for gift cards because the codes are a dead end. A bank can freeze a wire transfer. A money transfer app can reverse a payment if you report it quickly. Gift card codes have no such safety net. The instant the scammer has them, the money is theirs and there is nothing you can do.

Different scammers use different cards depending on which ones are easiest to move or sell. Some ask for iTunes, Google Play or gaming cards. Others ask for supermarket or retail cards. The store does not matter as much as the fact that codes are nearly impossible to trace or recover.

If you have already sent codes

Contact the gift card company straight away. Tell them the codes were used in a scam. They may be able to help if the codes have not been spent yet, but there is no guarantee. Keep the card and the receipt for the company. ¹ The longer you wait, the more likely the scammer has already spent the codes.

Explain clearly that you sent codes to someone posing as a dating contact, that you did not meet them in person, and that the request followed the pattern of a scam. Give the gift card company the date, the amount, and the codes if you still have them. Some companies are more helpful than others, but it is worth asking.

Then report the scammer's profile to Dateable. Block them. Do not send them anything else or reply to any more messages, even to ask for your money back. A scammer will use any reply to keep the conversation going and press for more.

You choose the store, not them

A real partner will not tell you exactly which store to use, which amount to buy, and when to send it. The difference between a present and a payment is that you decide what to give. Gifts come with choice and thoughtfulness. Payments come with instructions and urgency.

If someone wants a gift card, they might say "I like sushi" or "I have been wanting to try that bookshop". They do not say "Go to Woolworths right now and buy a fifty dollar card and text me the code". The first is a hint that leaves you free to choose. The second is a demand that locks you into doing exactly what they want, the moment they want it.

A present: you choose the store, the amount, and the timing, and you hand it over in person.
A payment: they specify the store, the amount, and the urgency, and you send codes by message.
A warning sign: any request for codes by message before you have met in person.