DateableHow to leave a trip early if it goes wrong
You can leave any trip at any time. Plan your exit before you go, know how to get home and have the money for it, and remember you owe your date nothing.
You can leave any trip at any time, and nothing is lost by going. If your date is not who they said they were, if they ignore what you asked for, if they make you feel unsafe or just uneasy, you can be gone within the hour. The time to plan that exit is before you leave home.
Know how to get home before you go
The single most important thing you can do is have a way out that does not depend on your date. Plan it before you meet.
- Know the route home from the meeting point: public transport, taxi apps, a friend who can pick you up, or hiring a car for the trip.
- Carry enough money or a card you can use to pay for transport home independently. A taxi or flight home should not require asking your date.
- Fill in emergency contacts in your passport and keep a copy of your travel documents where you can reach them if your phone dies.
- [Get travel insurance that covers your destinations, the length of the trip and your activities before you leave]1.
If you fly, know where your accommodation is and how to get there from the airport without your date. Write the address down and photograph it on your phone. If your date is picking you up, have a backup plan: save a taxi app or the phone number of a local taxi firm before you land. Have a backup plan for getting a taxi or booking a ride if meeting your date falls through.
Tell someone you trust where you are
Before you leave, call or message a friend or family member you trust. Tell them:
- Who you are meeting and where
- When you will arrive and when you expect to be home
- How you plan to get there and back
- Ask them to check in with you when you land, and to call the police if they do not hear from you by a certain time
Do this call first, before you pack or leave home. It is not overprotective. If something goes wrong, you need someone to know that something has gone wrong. Keep your phone charged and reachable. If you go silent and they do not hear from you as planned, they will know to raise an alarm.
If something feels off, leave
Trust what your body tells you. If your date does not look like their photos, if they ignore something you asked for before the trip, if they pressure you into something or make you feel trapped, you do not have to stay. You do not owe them the trip, a weekend, a meal or a conversation. You owe them nothing for the money they spent or the plans they made.
[You do not owe your date anything; you do not have to have sex with them even if they pay for your trip or your meals or your drinks]2. That is true the moment something changes: if you are uneasy, afraid, or they lied to you.
Ask hotel staff for help
If you are staying at a hotel or any accommodation with staff, they have helped guests in this position before. Their job is partly to keep guests safe.
You can tell them:
I need to leave early and I am not comfortable asking my date for a ride. Can you call me a taxi, or can I order one from my room?
They will also know local taxi companies, can arrange transport to the airport, and can tell you the safest routes. If you feel unsafe in your accommodation or do not want to be alone with your date, ask if you can wait in a public area of the hotel until transport arrives.
If you are in danger, call emergency services
If your date is violent, threatens you, is holding you somewhere, or you are being assaulted, call the emergency number in that country straight away. In Australia that is 000, in the UK 999, in the US 911, in Canada 911, in New Zealand 111. Tell them your location and that you need police.
If you feel unsafe but not in immediate danger, you can also contact a local sexual assault service. They give free, confidential support and advice on next steps.
After you leave
Once you are home, you have choices about what to do next. You can report your date to the platform. You can also learn what to do if something goes wrong and understand how to end an arrangement or end things with a date.
If your date lied about who they were or what they wanted, that matters. If you are exploring this kind of dating for the first time, read about sugar dating safety and how expectations are meant to work.
A trip that goes wrong is not your fault. Leaving early is not ungrateful. You made the right choice the moment you chose to be safe.
Sources
- Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office (GOV.UK) (2026). Foreign travel checklist.
- Sexual Assault Resource Centre, North Metropolitan Health Service (Government of Western Australia) (2021). Safe online dating.
