DateableWhat to say when a match sends you a link to another site
Say you'd rather keep talking on Dateable until you meet. Do not open a link to verify you, see private photos, or join another app.
Say "I'd rather keep talking here until we meet", and do not open it. Links to verify you, see private photos, or join another app are how scammers steal your login, take a fee, or harvest your card details.
Why they send a link early
A match who wants to move the conversation off Dateable quickly is showing a warning sign. 1 Be cautious if someone wants to move your chat to email or instant messaging. Most real members stay on the platform until they know you are who you say you are, and until they have decided whether to meet.
Scammers move you off Dateable because the platform can see what they are doing. On a private channel, they can push you toward money, fees or personal data without the site knowing. They also know that a link is harder to trace to them than a message on Dateable. A link can take you anywhere, and by the time you realise it is a scam, the person has your details and no record of their words remains on the platform.
What the link might be
A link early in the chat often claims to do one of three things:
- Verify you: "Click here to prove you are real." The link takes your login details, your card, or a fee to unlock a "premium" account. The fake verification screen looks like Dateable, so you enter your password or payment details without thinking.
- Show private photos: "Click to see my private album." You end up on a fake site that mimics Dateable, or it harvests your email and password. Once they have those, they can reset your real account on Dateable and lock you out.
- Join a better app: "Let's chat on X instead." The app is either fake or it is designed to scam you once you arrive. Real members do not pressure you to leave the platform you chose.
In all cases, the person on the other end is not who they say they are. A link is the handoff from romance to theft. The scammer counts on you being curious or wanting to please them. Neither curiosity nor kindness is a reason to click a link you are unsure about.
What to say
You do not need an excuse or a long reason. Keep it simple and direct. If they push back, you have your answer.
I'd rather keep talking here until we meet.
That sentence works whether you send it in the first message or the tenth. Repeat it if they ask again. A match worth meeting will respect it. Someone who is not worth meeting will keep trying, and that is when you know to report.
If they send a link after you say no
One link is careless. Two links after you have already said no is a pattern. 2 Stay on the dating platform until you are sure who someone is. A second link is your sign that you are not going to become sure. Report the profile and block them.
When you report and block, Dateable can see the pattern. Other members are safer because of your report. Do not feel like you are overreacting: you are not.
Before you meet anyone
A link is not the only way scammers move fast. Some will ask for money, a gift card, or help with a problem before you have even met. Protect your privacy by staying on Dateable and taking your time. You do not owe anyone speed, and a real match will wait. If a match mentions money or asks about how you earn yours within the first few messages, that is a different warning sign than a link, but it is a warning sign all the same.
If money comes up before you meet in person, that is the moment to stop replying. A match who needs your help paying for something, or who wants to send you money first, is showing you a scam. On Dateable, attractive members and generous members communicate through messages and meet when they are both ready. Messages stay on the platform, and they are free. Anything that asks you to leave the platform to pay is not real.
Links that are safe
Dateable itself might send you a link. A notification from Dateable that says someone has liked you, or a link in your inbox to a message, is safe: it came from Dateable, not from a match. On the platform, links inside messages from real members are rare. If a match sends a link to their public Instagram or a news article, that is different from a link to "verify you". Your instinct will tell the difference: a link to prove something about you is the one to avoid.
A link to Instagram, a song, a restaurant, or a news story is also rare, and if it happens, it usually happens late in the conversation, after you have traded several messages and have some sense of who they are. Even then, you do not have to click it. Staying on Dateable longer is always the safer choice. The longer you talk on the platform, the more chances you have to spot a scammer.
If you opened it already
If you opened a link and entered your Dateable password, change it now. Use a new password that is not like any other one you use. If you gave a card number or bank details, tell your bank straight away. A mistake is fixable. The speed of your response is what matters.
Do not feel ashamed. Scammers are professional liars, and they count on people being kind and wanting to believe someone is real. You learned something, and now you know the sign to watch for in future.
Sources
- Get Cyber Safe (Government of Canada) (2021). Online dating cyber security: Three ways to stay protected.
- Stop! Think Fraud (UK Government) (2026). Protect yourself from romance fraud.
