DateableMoney red flags from a new match
Any request for money, fees, gift cards, bank details or an investment from someone you have not met is a red flag. Stop, report, and block.
Any request for money, fees, gift cards, bank details or an investment from someone you have not met is a red flag. The scammer is building trust before the ask, and what comes next is designed to empty your account or compromise your identity.
The urgent money story
A new match tells you they are stuck overseas, a parent is ill, or they need to leave the country fast. They paint it as temporary: one plane ticket and they can meet you. Or they ask you to help pay a fee to release a payment meant for them. The story feels real because they tell it in chapters: today it is a visa fee, tomorrow it is a hotel deposit. 1
What to do: stop replying to their messages.
The loyalty fee
A generous member or a sugar parent offer looks promising: they will pay your bills, cover your debts, or send you money. Then they ask for a small payment first. They call it a release fee, a processing fee, a proof of loyalty or a good-faith deposit. No fee exists: the scammer takes your money and blocks you. 2
What to do: report the profile and block them immediately.
The fake deposit
A match says they sent you money and claims it was a mistake. They ask you to send it back via gift cards (Apple iTunes, Google Play, Steam), a wire transfer, or a money transfer app. You buy the gift cards and send the codes, or you wire the cash from your own account. Only later do you discover the deposit was not real: it came from a compromised account and has vanished. You are left in debt. 2
Banks must make deposited funds appear in your account quickly, but that does not mean the cheque or transfer is good. Fake deposits can take weeks to bounce. By then, if you have already sent money out, it is gone and impossible to recover.
What to do: never send money back, even if the story sounds urgent. Contact your bank to check whether the deposit is real before moving any of it.
Debt payoff offers
A match promises to pay off your student loans, credit card debt, or rent arrears. The offer is real-looking: they ask for your bank login or account number so they can transfer the funds directly. But those details are a gateway. Scammers use them to lock you out of your own account, empty it, or open new accounts in your name. 2
No real person offers to pay debts without meeting you first. A real partner builds trust and talks to you directly. A scammer collects your details and disappears.
What to do: never share your bank login, card number, or routing number with someone you have not met. Stop the conversation and block them.
Crypto and investments
A new match talks about cryptocurrency or an investment opportunity. They say it is easy money, that they have made a fortune this way, or that they want to help you earn. They offer to guide you through it or ask you to open a crypto account. What happens next is clear: you invest, they take your money, and they vanish. 3
Recovering money from cryptocurrency is nearly impossible. Crypto transactions cannot be undone. The account addresses are often anonymous, and the money crosses borders too fast to trace.
What to do: do not take investment direction from someone you met online. Do not open a crypto account because a stranger told you to. Stop replying and block them.
Pressure to move off the app
A match pushes you off Dateable and into WhatsApp, email or a messaging app within the first few messages. They say Dateable is slow, the app deletes their messages, or they prefer to text. The real reason is that once you move off the app, Dateable cannot help you. 12
On the app, your messages are reviewed, you can report and block without warning, and Dateable can investigate. Off the app, you are on your own. A scammer counts on this.
Stay on Dateable until you have met the person in person and are sure you want to keep talking to them. If they push you off the platform, it is a red flag on its own.
What to do: if they press you to leave the app, spot a scam for what it is and report them.
What scammers want from you
Money is only the start. A scammer also collects:
- Your banking details, so they can open accounts in your name or move money through your account
- Your home address, so they can use it to commit fraud and you find out when the police arrive
- Intimate photos, which they use to blackmail you for more money
- Your identity documents, for the same reason
Never share any of these, no matter how much the person says they care about you or how much they promise in return.
I'm not comfortable sharing banking details, my address or photos until I have met you in person. When you are ready to meet, let me know.
Sources
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
- WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
- Federal Trade Commission (2022). What To Know About Romance Scams.
