DateableMistakes new sugar babies make in their first month
Never pay anything upfront, never move off the site too soon, and never share your address or bank details early. A video call beats promises.
The most costly mistakes new sugar babies make are paying money to "unlock" an allowance, moving off the site too soon, and sharing banking details or your home address before you have met the person in person. A video call is not meeting: a scammer is usually on the other end of it, and they are counting on you to give up that information before you notice.
Do not pay to unlock anything
This is the fastest way to lose money. A match messages you with something like: "I want to send you my allowance, but I need you to pay a small processing fee first. Once you do, I will transfer $5,000 a month." Or: "My company requires a deposit from my partner before I can access a higher salary bracket."
Neither of these is real. A real generous member on Dateable can message and transfer money through normal banking once you both agree on terms. They do not ask you to pay them first.
The same applies to unlocking photos or getting access to a profile. If someone tells you they need a gift card code, a wire transfer, or a cryptocurrency payment before they can be generous with you, stop replying. They have told you who they are.
Stay on the platform until you have met
When a match asks to move to WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram or another app in the first few messages, that is a pressure tactic. On Dateable, all messages are visible and the platform can help if something goes wrong. Off the platform, you are alone with a stranger.
Most scammers push for this because once you leave, they can claim anything about themselves and you have no way to check. A real match is fine staying on Dateable while you get to know each other and arrange to meet in person.
I've enjoyed our messages and I'd like to keep talking here until we meet. It helps me feel safer.
That is a complete sentence and it is enough.
Never share your address or banking details early
Your address and bank details are the two pieces of information scammers are after. Once they have them, they can:
- Order items to your home to impersonate you
- Open accounts in your name
- Transfer money into your account, claim it was sent by mistake, and ask you to send it back (leaving you responsible if the transfer is later reversed)
- Hold your personal details for blackmail later
Do not share either one until you have met the person face to face, had multiple dates, and know them well enough to trust them with this information. Real chemistry and real arrangements do not need your address or bank details upfront.
Get verified and ask for a video call
Verification on Dateable is a live selfie matched to your profile photos by a reviewer. It shows you are who you say you are. It does not take long and it gives the other person confidence that you are real.
Before you meet anyone, ask for a video call. A scammer will refuse, make excuses, or show up on video as someone entirely different from their photos. A real match will call. This takes ten minutes and saves you time and heartache.
If a match tells you their phone is broken, or their internet is too bad, or they are overseas and video is difficult, those are the most common excuses romance scammers use. A video call is the simplest way to confirm you are talking to a real person. If they will not do it, they are not worth meeting. 1
Do not send photos on request
A match asks for intimate photos early on. They frame it as enthusiasm, as wanting to see you, as excitement about what is to come. The real reason is this: once you send an intimate photo, they have leverage. They can threaten to share it with your family, your employer or your followers unless you pay them, give them money, or send more. 1
A real match wants to meet you in person. They do not need intimate photos before a first date. If this is asked in the first few messages, it is a warning sign that you are talking to a scammer.
Do not rely on one match
New sugar babies sometimes focus all their hope on the first match who seems promising. When that person disappears, moves slowly, or turns out to be a scammer, it feels like a big loss. The solution is simple: talk to multiple people at once.
You are allowed to have conversations with five people, or ten. You are allowed to go on dates with different people to find out who you connect with. There is no prize for being loyal to someone you have not met yet. Treat early-stage dating like job interviews: you meet several candidates, and only one becomes the offer.
Do not say yes to every offer
When you are new and nervous, it is easy to agree to things to seem easygoing or to avoid disappointing someone. Someone suggests a date at a location that makes you uncomfortable, or a time that does not work, or an arrangement you do not like the sound of. You say yes anyway because they seem interested.
Stop. A good sugar arrangement is one you chose. You are not obligated to agree to a date just because someone asked. You are not obligated to go anywhere that does not feel safe, or to do anything you do not want to do. Your "no" is a complete answer. If someone gets upset with your boundaries, they have shown you who they are. Believe them and move on.
Watch for the setup
A sugar baby scam usually follows a pattern. A scammer poses as a generous member and makes an offer that sounds too good to be true. They ask you to pay a small fee upfront or move off the platform. Then they either disappear with your money, or they get your banking details and use them to defraud you. 2
If the offer sounds too good to be true, it is. A real arrangement grows from conversation and chemistry. It does not appear in the first message as a done deal. Stay safe by staying on Dateable, keeping your details private until you meet in person, and walking away from anyone who pushes.
Sources
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
- WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
