DateableShould you accept a flight from someone you have never met?
No. Meet in your own city first, somewhere public. A flight removes your escape route and hands control to someone who could be anyone.
No. Accept a flight to anywhere only after you have met this person in your own city, somewhere public, and decided you want to see them again. A flight isolates you from anyone who can help, removes your own exit and puts the entire evening in their hands. That is a risk you do not take with a stranger.
A flight takes you away from help
Meeting someone for the first time means something could go wrong. They might be nothing like their photos. They might be rude, or unsafe, or they might hurt you. If you meet in your own city, you have people who know where you are. You have your own car or a way to get home. You can leave after ten minutes if something feels wrong. You are in control.
A flight changes that. You land in their city. You do not know the streets, the taxi firms or which neighbourhoods are safe. You might be staying in their home or somewhere they chose. You cannot call a friend for a ride because you do not know where you are. If this person is unsafe, or if the date goes wrong, you have handed them control over your geography and your options.
Before you meet anyone for the first time, tell a trusted person where you are, how you are getting there and when you expect home. Tell them again when you arrive. On a first date, keep your phone charged and take your own transport. A flight with a stranger makes all of that impossible.
Anyone can pretend to be someone else
[Anyone can pretend to be someone online and post information that is not true 1]. A photo can be reversed on Google. A name can be typed into social media. A plane ticket is easy to promise and hard to question until you have landed and the person at the airport does not match the profile at all.
Scammers target people on dating sites specifically for this reason. They know that a person who is willing to fly to meet them has already decided to trust them. They build a connection over weeks or months, send thoughtful messages, say the right things. Then they ask for the flight, pay for it in a way that looks like a gift, and the victim is already halfway through the packing.
The "small fee first" sugar daddy is a scam
A particular version targets people looking for generous partners. [A scammer poses as a prospective sugar parent and offers to pay your bills or debts, but first asks for a small payment as proof of loyalty, payment fees or other costs 2]. They might ask you to cover a small piece of a booking fee, or to pay for a shared expense, promising to reimburse you. They do not. They disappear, and you are out the money.
In a second version, they deposit a large sum into your account, claim it was an error, and ask you to return it by buying gift cards (iTunes, Google Play or Steam) and sending the codes. The deposit came from fraud. It disappears, and you are left in debt to your bank.
[Red flags for sugar dating scams: requests for banking details, home address or phone number, offers to pay off debts, pressure to move off the dating platform, requests for intimate photos 2]. If someone asks you to pay anything first, or to send money before you have met, stop. That is the pattern of fraud.
I'd love to meet you. Before I book anything, can you come to my city first? [name of a public place] on [date]. That way we both know if we want to go further.
A genuine partner will come to you
Someone who wants to see you will travel to you. They might not like long flights. They might have a tight schedule. But they will make it work. A person who is serious does not ask you to do all the work and take all the risk.
A generous member especially has the freedom to travel. If they care about safety and about seeing you, they will book the ticket to your city, not the other way around. You get to stay in your home. You get to choose where you meet. You get to decide how long the date lasts. If it is wonderful, you can make plans from a position of safety instead of scrambling to get home from an airport two cities away.
What to do instead
- Suggest meeting in your own city at a public venue: a bar, restaurant or café with people around
- Choose a place you know, in daylight or at least where you know the area
- Tell a trusted friend the date, time and place, and call them when you get home
- If the person refuses to visit your city first, that is an answer in itself
- If they pressure you to book a flight, or ask for money beforehand, report the profile
- Keep your phone charged and have money for a taxi or rideshare to get home
Long-distance and travel later
Long-distance dating and travel trips can happen after you have met someone and decided you want to invest in the arrangement. But your first meeting is not the time to prove anything to anyone. Meet where you are strong. Meet where you have options. Meet where you can walk away if something is wrong. The right person will understand that and meet you there.
Sources
- New Zealand Police (2026). Safety advice.
- WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
