Guides

How to post an invitation on the Board

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Write a Board listing that draws the right applicants: a clear title, honest details, a plain offer, a public first meeting, and a shortlist you choose from.

9 minute readUpdated 2026-09-30

By the end of this guide you will have a listing on the Board that tells the right person exactly what you are inviting them to, and puts off the wrong one before they apply. You will also know what happens after you press post, from review to the day you meet.

Keep this page open beside the posting form. It follows the form's order: the occasion, the details, the offer, who should apply, then the settings. Each step says what to write and why it matters.

Before you start

Posting on the Board needs the Verified badge. Either side can post: a generous member might invite someone to an opera opening as a plus-one; an attractive member might ask to be shown a favourite restaurant. If you have not verified yet, start with How to get verified.

Know what a listing is before you write one. It is an invitation to one occasion, or to something ongoing, that members apply for with a short note. You read the notes, shortlist the people you like, and accept one person per place. Nobody bids and nothing is auctioned. The best listings read like a good invitation from a friend of a friend: specific, warm and honest about what is on offer.

Anyone can see the Board's list, signed out included. The list card shows the title, the city, the day and a summary of the offer. The full listing, and the chance to apply, is for verified members only. Write the title and offer knowing a stranger may read them.

Write the listing, step by step

Open Post an invitation. The form runs in four short steps and shows a live preview of your card as you type. Watch the preview: it is what members see first.

1. Pick the kind. Choose dinner, event, travel, experience, ongoing, mentoring or other. The kind is a filter on the Board, so the right choice puts you in front of people already looking for that. Pick the one a member would search for, not the most flattering one.
2. Write a title of 8 to 80 characters that names the occasion. Say what, and something about where or when. "Opening night at the opera, plus one" tells a reader in a second whether it is for them. "Looking for someone special" tells them nothing and draws notes from everyone.
3. Set the city and country, and hold back the venue. City and country are required. A venue name is optional, and when you add one it shows only to the guest you accept. That keeps your plans private from everyone else who reads the listing.
4. Choose when and how long. Give a date and time, a date range, or "flexible". Add a duration in hours, or in days for travel. A fixed date draws people who can come; "flexible" draws more people and more back-and-forth. For a first meeting, a few hours is plenty.
5. Write the details in 50 to 1500 characters. Describe the occasion, the dress code, the pace of the evening and what you hope the guest enjoys. A reader should be able to picture the night. Specific beats long: three clear sentences outperform a page of adjectives.
6. State the offer plainly. Say what you provide: hosted (you cover the occasion), a gift, an allowance, or travel covered. There is a free-text line of up to 300 characters and an optional amount with its currency. Write what you mean, once. The offer on a listing is a statement by you, the host. Dateable never holds, moves or guarantees money between members, so your word is the whole of it.
7. Describe who should apply in up to 500 characters. Say what makes a good guest for this occasion: someone who enjoys live music, is comfortable at a formal dinner, or can travel on those dates. This line does your filtering for you. Keep it about interests, manner and availability.
8. Set when applications close. The default is 14 days and the longest is 60. Close it about a week before the date so you have time to read notes, shortlist and wait for the guest to confirm, which they have 48 hours to do.
9. Choose the number of places. One by default, up to four. A dinner or a plus-one is one place. Add places only when the occasion is genuinely a group, such as a table at a gala.
10. Read the preview, then post. Check the card as a stranger would see it: title, city, day, offer summary. If it would embarrass you on a friend's phone, rewrite it before you post.

Titles that work

Details that do the work

A good details box answers the questions an applicant would otherwise ask in their note. Here is an example of the shape, written for this guide. It is not a real listing.

"Example: I have two seats for the opening night of a new production at the opera on Saturday. Black tie. We would meet for a drink in the foyer bar at 6.30, see the performance, and finish with a light supper nearby, about four hours in all. I would love a guest who enjoys music and conversation and does not mind a late night. Hosted: I cover tickets, drinks and supper, plus a car home."

It names the occasion, the dress code, the meeting point, the length, the kind of guest and the offer. A member reading it knows what they are saying yes to.

Choose your offer

The offer field has four named kinds. You can combine them, and the free text says how. Choose what you actually intend to provide.

An allowance is part of an arrangement two people choose together; it is never a price for a person's time in private or for anything physical. If you are unsure how to raise or phrase it, How to talk about an allowance has scripts for both sides.

Plan a safe first meeting

Your listing sets the first meeting. Make it the kind of meeting a careful guest will say yes to.

1. Start somewhere public, with people around. Police advise meeting someone from online in a busy place, in daylight where you can, and telling a friend where you are ². A restaurant, a gallery, a theatre foyer or a hotel bar all work.
2. Never name a private home or hotel room as the first meeting place. The Board refuses these listings, and safety services advise against going to their place, or having them come to yours, on a first date ³. Travel listings still start with a meeting in public.
3. Let the guest control their own way home. A guest who has their own transport decides when the evening ends ³. Offer a car if you like, but never make a pickup from their home part of the plan.
4. Keep your own details back until you trust the person. Hold on to your surname, address and workplace ⁴. The venue shows only to your accepted guest; that is enough.

What the Board refuses

Every listing goes through automatic checks before it appears. A person reviews anything flagged, with a target of under 12 hours. A listing is refused, and you are warned, if it contains any of these:

• Sexual services, sexual acts, or anything priced by intimacy.
• Anyone under 18, or wording that trades on youth. Every member is an adult; describe the occasion, not an age you prefer.
• Contact details: phone, email, handles or links.
• A request that the guest pay, deposit, or send money or gift cards.
• A private home or hotel room as the first meeting place.
• Discrimination by race or religion.

After you post

Your listing moves through a set of states. You can follow each one from My listings.

1. In review. Automatic checks, then a person for anything flagged. If the listing is refused, rewrite the part it names and post again.
2. Open. Your card appears on the Board. Verified members apply with a note of 50 to 800 characters, one application each. An applicant can withdraw at any time.
3. Read the notes and open each applicant's profile. Your profile is linked from the listing, so applicants can look at you before they apply. Return the courtesy. A note that answers your details box shows someone who read it.
4. Shortlist or decline. Mark each applicant shortlisted or declined. A decline sends a kind, fixed message, so you never have to write one.
5. Accept one person per place. A private conversation opens between you. Everyone else is told the place is filled.
6. Wait for confirmation. Your guest has 48 hours to confirm. If they do not, the acceptance lapses and you may accept someone else from your shortlist.
7. Meet. The day before, you both get the first-date safety checklist. Read it: First date safety checklist.
8. Rate privately afterwards. Each of you may leave a rating from 1 to 5 and press "would meet again". Ratings are never public. They feed trust signals and moderation.

You can close a listing yourself at any point before you accept anyone. If nobody is accepted by the close date, the listing expires.

When you accept someone, a short first message sets the tone:

"Lovely to meet you properly. I've accepted your application for Saturday. The venue is now on your listing. I'll be at the bar from 6.30. Please confirm when you can, and tell me if anything about the plan doesn't suit you."

Before you meet, a short video call is worth asking for. Safety services suggest one to check the person matches who they say they are ³.

"Before Saturday, would you be up for a five-minute video call? I like to hear a voice first."

Cancelling fairly

Plans change. The Board records late cancellations so members can rely on each other.

Either of you can cancel a confirmed meeting, with a reason. Cancel as early as you know, and say so plainly:

"I'm sorry, I have to cancel Saturday. Something has come up at work that I can't move. I didn't want to leave it late. I hope you'll let me invite you another time."

The rules every member agrees to are on Community rules.

Questions people ask

Who can post an invitation on the Dateable Board?

Any verified member, on either side. A generous member might post an opera opening as a plus-one invitation; an attractive member might ask to be shown a favourite restaurant. You need the Verified badge first, which comes from a live selfie check against your profile photos. Anyone can browse the Board, but only verified members read full listings, apply or post.

How long does it take for a Board listing to go live?

Every listing passes automatic checks first. Anything flagged goes to a person, and the target for that review is under 12 hours. Once approved, the listing is open and appears on the Board. If it is refused, you are told what to change, and you can rewrite that part and post again.

Can I put my phone number or Instagram in a listing?

No. Listings with contact details, including phone numbers, email addresses, social handles and links, are refused automatically. Contact happens in the private conversation that opens when you accept an applicant. Keeping contact on Dateable until you trust someone also protects you: pressure to move off the platform early is a common scam sign.

Should I put an allowance amount in my listing?

You can. The offer field lets you choose hosted, gift, allowance or travel covered, add up to 300 characters of free text, and give an optional amount and currency. State it once and plainly. Dateable never holds or guarantees money between members, so the offer is your own statement, and it can never be a price for anything physical.

How many people can I accept for one invitation?

One per place. A listing has one place by default and up to four. You accept one applicant per place, a private conversation opens with each, and everyone else is told the place is filled. Your guest then has 48 hours to confirm, or the acceptance lapses and you may accept someone else.

Can I choose where we meet without everyone seeing the venue?

Yes. City and country are required on every listing, but the venue name is optional, and when you add one it shows only to the guest you accept. Other members see the city and the day. The first meeting must be somewhere public: listings that name a private home or hotel room as the first meeting place are refused.

What happens if I cancel an invitation at the last minute?

Either of you can cancel a confirmed meeting, with a reason. A host who cancels inside 24 hours has it recorded, and three late cancellations in 90 days pause posting for 30 days. Guests face the same rule for late cancellations and no-shows. Cancel as early as you can and say why.

Sources

1. Scull, M. T. (2019). "It's Its Own Thing": A Typology of Interpersonal Sugar Relationship Scripts.
2. Victoria Police (2025). Safety tips when meeting someone from online.
3. Sexual Assault Resource Centre, North Metropolitan Health Service (Government of Western Australia) (2021). Safe online dating.
4. New Zealand Police (2026). Safety advice.
5. Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
6. WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.