DateableWhat catfishing is, and how it differs from a romance scam
A catfish uses fake photos or a false life. A romance scammer does the same, but to steal money. Both avoid meeting in person; only one plans theft.
A catfish is someone who uses another person's photos or invents a false life to form a connection with you online. A romance scammer does the same thing, but with one clear goal: to get money from you. Both types avoid meeting you in person, but the reasons are different, and the signs you should watch for overlap more than you might expect.
The shared warning signs
Catfishers and romance scammers use the same tactics. Both say they love you before you have met, always have an excuse not to video call, and try to isolate you from people who have doubts about them 1. A camera that never works is a classic sign 2. Scammers also push you off the dating site to private messaging such as WhatsApp 3.
The tactics work because of timing. By the time romance or flattery enters the picture, you are already invested in the conversation, more willing to believe the excuses, and less likely to listen to friends who voice concern.
Where catfishing and romance scams split
A catfish may ask for money, but that is not the main goal. Some catfishers are after attention: they want to feel wanted and appreciated, and the lie gives them permission to be that person. Some seek control or emotional connection from someone they believe they could not meet otherwise. Some are testing how far they can go. A catfish wastes your time and may harm your trust, but the harm is emotional and relational.
A romance scammer has a financial target. They build trust, sometimes over a long time, then ask for money 3. The story might be a plane ticket to meet you, a medical emergency, a visa fee, or a cryptocurrency investment they can help you with 4. Some ask you to receive money for them and pass it on 5. Each payment is followed by the next request.
The check that exposes both
Ask for a live video call. A real person will do it. Someone using another person's photos will not, and will have an excuse ready. Many keep the excuses coming. Some go quiet once they know they cannot hide the mismatch between the photos and their face.
On Dateable, the Verified badge does part of this check for you. A reviewer compares a live selfie, taken in a pose the app picks, with the member's profile photos. The badge tells you the person matches their photos. It does not check their name, income or age documents, so it cannot tell you whether the story they tell is true. How verification works explains the rest.
What you can do before meeting
Take your time. Scammers work fast and push toward commitment or money quickly, but you are allowed to go slowly. Ask specific questions about where they grew up, their work and their family. A rehearsed story often has few details or the details fall apart under follow-up. Search their profile name online to see whether their details match across platforms, and be wary of new accounts with few posts or friends 1.
Do a reverse image search on their photos 3. If the photos appear elsewhere under another name, stop messaging and report the profile.
I'd like to set up a video call this week before we make any plans. I want to meet the person I'm talking to.
That line is kind and direct. Anyone with nothing to hide will suggest a time. Anyone who keeps dodging has given you the answer you need.
If money comes up
Stop messaging and report the profile. No real member needs money, a gift card, a wire transfer or cryptocurrency from you, and none asks you to receive money and send it elsewhere. Never send money to someone you have not met in person 3. Block them, report them to Dateable, and do not send anything.
This is the defining line between a catfish and a romance scammer. One is wasting your time. The other is stealing. If money enters the conversation, theft is the goal.
When the video call checks out
A good video call and a Verified badge mean you are talking to the person in the photos. They do not mean you know them yet. Before you meet, screenshot their profile and your messages, tell someone where you are going and when, and share your location with them 2. Meet in public, keep your phone charged, and do not feel bad about cutting the date short if it does not feel right 6. The first-date safety guide has the full checklist.
If anything about the story still does not add up after you meet, the patterns in how to spot a scam apply to people you have met as well as people you have not.
Sources
- Get Cyber Safe (Government of Canada) (2023). Spot the signs of a catfish on dating platforms.
- eSafety Commissioner (2026). Online dating | How to stay safe.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
- Federal Trade Commission (2022). What To Know About Romance Scams.
- Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (2026). Relationship and romance.
- New Zealand Police (2026). Safety advice.
