DateableWhy you never pay anything to accept a Board invitation
No genuine host asks for a deposit or fee to accept an invitation. Scammers do. Know the patterns, report them, and call your bank if money moved.
No genuine host asks you for a deposit, fee, proof of loyalty or gift cards in exchange for an invitation. If they ask, the listing should be refused. Scammers use fake accounts to harvest money from people looking for connections, and the patterns are consistent enough that you can spot them and stop them.
The proof-of-loyalty scam
A scammer sets up a profile as an attractive, generous person. They move quickly into private messaging, build rapport, and offer to pay your bills or clear a debt. Then they ask for a small payment first: proof you are serious, a processing fee, or some other opening request 1. They take the money and vanish.
The speed is the tell. A real person who offers financial support takes time to know you first. They do not ask you to prove yourself before you have even met.
The gift card overpay
This version is more elaborate. The scammer deposits a large sum into an account you control, then says it was a mistake. They ask you to "help them out" by buying gift cards with the money and sending the codes back 1. The deposit came from a fraud victim's account or a stolen card, so it disappears within days. The gift cards do not. You are left in debt and the scammer has the codes.
A variation: someone you have met on the site sends you a cheque or deposit that is far larger than agreed. They ask you to wire back the difference 2. By the time the cheque fails, you have already sent the money and the scammer is gone. Banks must make deposited funds available quickly, but that does not mean the cheque is good. It can take weeks to fail.
I've been offered a gift from someone I just met. I'm not comfortable with it. Let me take things slower.
That is a complete sentence. You do not owe speed, acceptance or an explanation.
No business asks to be paid in gift cards
Gift card scams work because scammers tell you they have legitimate reasons: "Apple gift cards for my son's birthday", "Steam cards to wire to an overseas team", "Google Play to cover fees" 3. None of it is true. No real business or government agency asks you to buy gift cards to pay them. No sugar daddy, no site, no bank.
The reason is simple: once you send a gift card code, it is gone. There is no reversal, no way to trace it, no dispute process. It is the perfect payment method for a scammer, which is exactly why you never see it used for anything legitimate.
Where scams come from
These scams land on dating sites because scammers know people there are open to the idea of generosity and support. They also know that talking about money early feels awkward, so people hesitate to ask questions. Shame keeps victims quiet, which keeps the scams going 4.
On Dateable, every host account is verified by a reviewer who compares a live selfie to the profile photos. That check is not a guarantee of character, but it does mean the person really exists and the photos are theirs. Scammers cannot verify, so they stay unverified. If someone who is not verified is messaging you with money offers, the pattern is already broken.
What to do if it happens
- Stop replying. Do not explain, defend or try to change their mind. You are talking to someone who will take your money.
- Report the profile from the message or their listing. Report it here. A report reaches a person who reviews it.
- Block them. You will not hear from that exact account again, though scammers make new ones.
- If money moved: call your bank straight away. Tell them the transaction was fraud. They may not recover the money but they can stop access to compromised accounts and freeze cards.
- If you sent gift card codes: contact the gift card company immediately and keep the receipt. The codes may still be retrievable if they have not been spent yet 3.
Actual sugar dating works differently
In real arrangements, a generous member and an attractive member meet first and like each other, then they negotiate what generosity looks like. The attractive member decides what they are comfortable with. Money moves after trust is built, during the relationship, not before it starts. Read more about what genuine sugar dating looks like.
Red flags before money is mentioned
Scammers also show other patterns before they ask for money. They avoid video calls or meeting. They tell stories about being on an oil rig, deployed with the military, or working overseas, so they cannot meet in person but they can send money. They move your conversation off Dateable into WhatsApp or email so there is no platform record and no way for you to report them to the site 4. They ask for personal details: banking information, home address, your workplace. If someone you have not met does several of these things at once, stop engaging and learn how to spot a scam before continuing to date online.
You hold the power
A scammer needs you to move fast, to feel special, to bypass your own doubts, and to send money before you have time to think. The moment you hesitate is the moment they lose. Hesitation is not rudeness. Asking questions is not paranoia. Taking your time is not unkind. Everyone worth meeting respects someone who looks after themselves.
Sources
- WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
- Federal Trade Commission (2025). How To Spot, Avoid, and Report Fake Check Scams.
- Federal Trade Commission (2023). Avoiding and Reporting Gift Card Scams.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
