DateableWhat to do when someone shares your photo without permission
Ask once in writing for it to come down, report it to the platform, and keep screenshots. If intimate, StopNCII blocks it without you sending the image.
If someone shares a photo of you without your permission, ask them once in writing to take it down, then report it to the platform where it is posted and to Dateable if you met them here. If the photo is intimate, you can use StopNCII.org to block it on participating platforms without sending the image yourself.
Ask them once, in writing
Sending a written request creates a record. If you speak to them in person or over a call, there is no proof you asked. A text message, email or platform message is evidence that you asked clearly and they ignored you or refused.
Send a clear, direct message. Keep it brief and factual. Do not apologise, do not explain your feelings, and do not ask why they did it. State what happened and what you want.
You shared a photo of me without my permission on [platform]. I did not consent to that. Please remove it by [date three days away]. If you do not, I will report it to the platform.
Keep a screenshot of this message and their reply, or note that they did not reply. This is your record of asking. After you send it, do not send another message. Move to the next step whether they reply or not.
Do not soften the message with "please" at the start or "I hope you understand" at the end. You are stating a fact and a requirement, not asking a favour. A clear boundary is easier to report than a request that got tangled in politeness.
Report it to the platform
Every dating site and social platform has a report button. Use it. Report the photo for violation of your privacy or non-consensual sharing, depending on what the platform calls it. You do not need to prove anything: the platform has teams whose job this is.
When you report, include a screenshot showing where the photo is, who posted it and when. Describe what the photo shows and why you did not consent to it being shared. Be specific: 'My ex shared this photo of me' is clearer than 'Someone shared a photo of me'.
Most platforms take a few days to a week to respond. Some will take the photo down without asking you anything else. Others may ask you for more information or ask the person who posted it to explain. If the platform asks the person to explain, they might say you consented, or that it is not actually you in the photo. Stay patient. Platforms usually side with the person reporting unless the person who posted it can show clear consent.
Report even if the person took the photo down after you asked. A platform report creates a record. If they share it again or if they do it to someone else, that record matters.
If you met them on Dateable
Report it to us. Give us the username, when it happened, where the photo was shared, and a screenshot. Dateable can act on it: we can block the person if they have broken our terms, and we can connect what happened to their account so that pattern shows if they do it again.
If the photo is intimate
If the photo is intimate or sexual, you have an extra option. Go to StopNCII.org. It is free and confidential. You make a hash (a digital fingerprint) of the image on your own device. Only the hash is shared, never the image itself. Participating platforms use that hash to find and block the image. You do not upload the photo, you do not send it anywhere, and StopNCII does not see it.
You can use StopNCII if you are the person in the image, you were 18 or older when it was taken, and you still have the image on a device you own. The Revenge Porn Helpline (which runs StopNCII) reports an over 90% removal rate 1. This works across platforms: the hash blocks the image on every platform that participates, without you having to report it to each one separately.
StopNCII is particularly useful if the image is spreading and you want to stop it being posted in the first place, rather than fighting removal after removal. Do both: report to the platforms and submit to StopNCII so the image gets blocked before it can be shared again.
Three things not to do
- Never pay anyone who threatens you. They will come back for more 2. If someone demands money to remove a photo, block them, report them to the platform, and report it to police.
- Do not send the intimate image to anyone, including to prove it exists. You will only spread it further.
- Do not contact the person again after you have asked once. No follow-ups, no negotiating, no anger. You asked. You reported. That is enough.
Keep your evidence
Take screenshots of where the photo appeared, including the date, the account name, the caption if there was one, and any comments. Save the screenshot with a filename that includes the date, so you know when you took it. If you need to report to police, you will need this.
Get support if you need it
Image-based abuse is a real harm, and it can shake you. 1800RESPECT is Australia's national service for sexual assault and image-based abuse 3. Call 1800 737 732 any time. It is free, confidential and 24 hours a day. They can also help you think through what to do if something goes wrong.
Sources
- StopNCII.org (Revenge Porn Helpline, SWGfL) (2026). Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Image Abuse.
- Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection and WA Police (2024). Alarm at young adults and teenagers caught up in 'sextortion' scams.
- 1800RESPECT (2026). 1800RESPECT.
