DateableShould you post photos of your home or car?
No. Photos of your home interior and car number plate tell a stranger where you live and what you own, which attracts people interested in money.
No. Photos of your home or car belong in your private album, or nowhere at all. They tell a stranger where you live and what you own before you have met them, and that kind of information attracts people interested in money, not in you.
Why your home interior gives away your address
A photo of your living room or kitchen sounds harmless. It shows your style, your taste in art, your books. But to someone with the will to find you, it is enough. The background of a photo tells someone where you live. A fireplace, the moulding above a door, the view from a window, a garden gate, a neighbour's distinctive fence: any of these can be matched to a real address with a reverse image search and a bit of patience.
Once they have your address, they have power. They know where you are at night. They know whether you live alone. They know whether anyone is home during the day. You have told them which house to watch.
Your number plate is a tracker
The same logic applies to your car. A photo of your car, especially one that shows the number plate, gives someone everything they need to find you. A number plate in any photo is enough. They can run your plate through a traffic camera database or ask a contact in local government to pull your registered address.
The car itself also tells a story: the make, the model, the colour, the year. If your profile picture shows you in that same car, someone can walk through a car park and look for the face inside the vehicle. They can wait for you to get in. They can follow you home.
You have the right to keep your address private
Safety services understand this risk. They advise you to keep your address, date of birth, workplace, family names and regular places private until you trust someone 1. That advice exists because people have learned the hard way what happens when they do not.
You do not owe a stranger that information. You do not owe anyone the chance to find you before you have met. There is no rule that says you must prove your address early or show off your car. A person worth meeting will wait.
Photos of you matter more than photos of your things
What people want to see is you. A photo of you in your home says almost nothing: it could be a hotel, a friend's place, a rental. A photo of you with your car tells them the car matters to you, but not who you are.
Instead, show a photo of you doing something. Playing an instrument. Reading in a park. Cooking a meal. Dancing. Working on a project. A photo of you in action tells someone what you do with your time and what matters to you. It shows them who you are far better than a photo of your sofa ever could.
I want to show what I like to do, not where I live. A photo of me sailing or hiking or at the museum tells them more about me than a photo of my lounge room ever will.
Who notices photos of possessions
There is a reason certain people look closely at photos of homes and cars: they are not looking at the home or the car. They are looking at what someone might give them or what they might take. People shopping for a generous partner sometimes scan profiles for signs of money. A photo of an expensive car, a high-end kitchen, a home that looks like a magazine spread: these are the profiles they click.
If you are a generous member, this matters even more. You will draw people who are interested in what you own rather than who you are. The people worth meeting are interested in you. They want to know what you think, what you enjoy, what makes you laugh. They do not need to see your house before they meet you.
- Post photos of yourself doing what you love.
- Save photos of your home and car for after you have met someone in person, if you choose to share them at all.
- Never show a number plate or identifying features of your car.
- Keep your address, workplace and routine private until you trust someone.
- Remember that a person interested in you wants to know who you are, not what you own.
What to do with home and car photos now
If you have already posted photos of your home or car, you can protect your privacy by deleting them. Dateable keeps photos reviewed before others see them, and you can choose which members get access to any private album. A photo you delete is gone and cannot be shared.
For generous members, there is another reason to keep possession photos private. Read what a generous member looks for in a profile, and how to draw people interested in you rather than your wallet. The same privacy rules protect you whether you are looking or being looked for. A blog post on privacy covers more ways to stay safe and in control of your information as you date.
Sources
- Sexual Assault Resource Centre, North Metropolitan Health Service (Government of Western Australia) (2021). Safe online dating.
