DateableHow fake cheque scams work on dating sites
A fake cheque shows as cleared in days but bounces weeks later, leaving you to repay all of it. Here is what happens and how to protect yourself.
A match sends you a cheque, often for more than they promised, and asks you to pass part of it on. The money shows in your account within days, the cheque bounces weeks later, and whatever you sent on is gone. A request to send any of it back is the giveaway 1.
Why the money appears to be there
In the US, banks must by law make deposited funds available quickly, so money showing in your account does not mean the cheque is good 1. "Available" only means you can spend it. It does not mean the cheque has been paid by the bank it was drawn on.
A fake cheque can take weeks to be discovered and untangled 1. By then the scammer has asked you to send part of the money on, you have done it, and the bank reverses the deposit. The money you sent is gone, and the bank will look to you to cover the shortfall.
How it works on a dating site
Say a match sends you a cheque for an allowance or to help with bills. The amount is often higher than you discussed: they claim it is a bonus or a mistake on their side. They ask you to deposit it and send back the difference to them by wire transfer, money order or gift card.
The money shows up, so it looks real. You send the difference. Weeks later the cheque bounces, the deposit is reversed, and you are out the money you sent.
The message often reads something like this:
I've posted you a cheque for $1,500. I only meant $1,000, so once it's in, can you send me back $500 in gift cards? My card's blocked overseas.
Why it turns up in sugar dating
WA ScamNet describes scammers posing as sugar parents who offer to pay a sugar baby's bills or debts, or who deposit a large sum, claim it was an error, and ask for it back in gift cards 2. A cheque is one more way to create money that is not really there. The offer usually comes early, before any date, and often alongside a push to move off the dating site, another red flag ScamNet lists 2.
If a match offers to pay something before you have met, one reply covers it:
That's kind, but I don't take money from anyone before we've met. Let's plan a coffee first.
A genuine person accepts that. A scammer argues, adds urgency, or goes quiet. Either way, you have lost nothing by saying it, and you have kept money and bank details out of a conversation with a stranger.
The giveaway: being asked to send money back
A real match who sends you money does not ask you to send any of it back. If someone sends you a cheque and then asks you to forward part of it, or to move it through another service like a money transfer app, that is not a genuine transaction.
The request itself is the warning. It does not matter whether the cheque looks official, arrives on proper bank paper or clears your first verification. A genuine transaction does not work this way.
What to do if you receive a cheque from a match
- Do not deposit a cheque from someone you have not met in person.
- If you have met them and they send you a cheque, ask yourself why they chose this method instead of a bank transfer or a direct payment to your account.
- If they ask you to send any of the money back, do not do it. Stop replying and report the profile.
- Never send gift cards, cryptocurrency, money orders or wire transfers because of a cheque someone sent you 1.
If it has already happened
Stop replying. Contact your bank straight away: tell them the cheque is fake and ask what happens next 3. If you sent money through a transfer service or bought gift cards, contact that company too and ask whether the payment can be stopped.
Report the profile to Dateable and report the scam to Scamwatch, or to your country's equivalent 3. Keep every message, a photo of the cheque, and every letter from your bank. The guide to spotting a scam covers the other patterns.
On dating sites, a cheque is a warning sign on its own
A cheque from someone you have not met is a warning sign before anyone asks for anything back. Do not deposit it, and if you already have, do not spend or forward a cent of it until your bank confirms it has been paid. Talk about any allowance only after you have met, and never send money to someone you have not met in person 3. More in sugar dating safety.
Sources
- Federal Trade Commission (2025). How To Spot, Avoid, and Report Fake Check Scams.
- WA ScamNet (Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection) (2026). Sugar baby scam.
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Relationship scams.
