DateableMyth: only older or lonely people fall for romance scams
Anyone can fall for a romance scam. Each age group faces different scams, and those who believe they are immune are easiest to rush.
Anyone can fall for a romance scam, regardless of age or how carefully they usually behave. The scams are different by age group: people in their twenties face sextortion at much higher rates, while older adults report larger financial losses.
The sextortion trap for younger adults
Sextortion is a scam where someone threatens to share intimate images to get money from you. People aged 18 to 29 reported threats to share explicit photos at six times the rate of older adults 1. The scammer may claim to have images of you from a video chat, or threaten to share ones you sent them.
Sextortion scammers work through dating sites, social media and gaming apps. Some falsely claim to have images and threaten to release them unless you pay. Others trick people into sharing intimate photos or record them on video chat, then use that to threaten and extort them.
I have intimate images of you. Pay 500 dollars or I send them to your family and friends.
If this happens to you: stop replying, block the person immediately, report the account to the platform, and tell someone you trust. Do not send money. Scammers keep demanding more once you pay.
The money loss trap for older adults
People over 60 suffered the most losses to scams overall and made the most complaints to law enforcement in 2024 2. In romance scams, they are often targeted because scammers assume they have savings and may be less familiar with online dating.
An older adult meets someone online who declares feelings quickly, asks to move the conversation off the dating platform, and then reveals an urgent need: a medical emergency, a work visa problem, a stuck cargo shipment. The person sending money sees themselves as helping someone they care about, not as a victim of crime.
Why careful people fall for it
Research into romance scam victims found that people who scored high on romantic idealisation were more likely to be victims 3. Romantic idealisation is not gullibility. It is a tendency to see relationships in an optimistic light and to believe in the possibility of connection. Plenty of careful, intelligent people have this trait.
Scammers are skilled at playing on this. They build trust over weeks or months. They listen to your life, remember details, and position themselves as a partner who understands you. When they finally ask for money, you are not thinking about whether you have been lied to. You are thinking about someone you have grown close to.
Believing you are immune is the real risk
Many people who fall for romance scams thought they were too clever to be fooled. Thinking you cannot be scammed is actually a risk factor. It makes you faster to trust and slower to question. When someone seems genuinely interested in you, it is easier to move past warning signs if you believe you are a good judge of character.
The confidence that "I would never fall for that" can work against you. A scammer's job is to make you feel special and to create urgency. If you are certain you would spot it, you might not question it until the money is already gone.
How to stay safe
- Never send money to someone you have not met in person, no matter how long you have been messaging or how real the connection feels.
- Be suspicious if someone you have met only online professes love, always has an excuse not to video call or meet, or says they work overseas but live nearby.
- If someone asks for money for an emergency, medical bill, travel cost or investment, stop replying. This is the pattern scammers follow.
- Use a reverse image search on their photos. Scammers use fake photos stolen from other profiles.
- Talk to people you trust. Scammers often push you to keep the relationship secret from friends and family, which is a warning sign.
- If money is asked for, stop the conversation and report the profile before replying again.
Scams are also a safety issue
Romance scams cause financial harm, but they also cause emotional distress. Victims report feeling fooled, angry and ashamed, even if they lost no money. The betrayal of trust runs deep because the scammer has spent weeks making you feel seen.
That emotional toll is real and is not something you should handle alone. If you have been scammed, tell someone you trust and contact your bank immediately. In Australia, IDCARE (1800 595 160) helps with identity recovery if you shared personal information. You can spot a scam by reading what to look for in real time.
On Dateable
Dateable exists so people can be clear about expectations and meet someone they actually like. Verification is a live selfie compared to the profile photos, and it shows the person matches their photos. Messages are free, which lets you have real conversations before anything else happens, and the badge tells you who has passed the check.
Report and block are one press from any profile, message or listing. If someone asks for money before you have met in person, they are following the scammer script. Stop replying and report the profile. Read more about sugar dating safety and how generous and attractive members interact on the platform. A sugar daddy guide is also available for anyone new to how these arrangements work.
Sources
- Fletcher, E. (Federal Trade Commission) (2023). Romance scammers' favorite lies exposed.
- Federal Bureau of Investigation, Internet Crime Complaint Center (2025). 2024 IC3 Annual Report.
- Buchanan, T., & Whitty, M. T. (2013). The online dating romance scam: causes and consequences of victimhood.
