DateableHow sextortion works on dating apps
A scammer flirts, records your intimate image, then threatens to send it to family and friends unless you pay. Never send images to someone you have not met.
Sextortion is blackmail where a scammer threatens to share an intimate image or video of you unless you pay money. It is a serious crime that happens on dating apps, and you need to know how it works, why you should never pay, and what to do if it starts happening to you.
How the scam starts
The scammer creates a profile on a dating app and approaches you normally at first. They build trust by flirting, chatting and asking questions about your life. Their goal is to move the conversation to a private platform like WhatsApp or another app, where the chat is not monitored. 1
Once they have your trust, they push for something intimate. They might ask you to switch to a video chat where they suggest you undress, or they ask you to send a naked photo or video. Some scammers trick you into recording yourself on video call by saying they want to "see you" or "make sure you are real". 1
At this point, the scammer either has a real video or image of you, or they falsely claim to. They take a screenshot or record the video call and use it as ammunition. 1
Adults on dating apps are targeted too
Sextortion is not just a risk for teenagers. Adults who use dating apps, including those on sugar dating sites, are approached for sextortion scams. 2 The scammers do not care about your age or how experienced you are. They work through any platform where they can build a fake relationship quickly.
Why you should never pay
When the scammer has the image or video, they send you a message like this:
I have a video of you. I am going to send it to your family and friends unless you send me money right now. You have one hour.
The panic is real. The threat feels urgent and terrifying. But paying is the worst thing you can do. 2
If you pay, the scammer knows you will pay. They come back for more money. 2 They may threaten to share the image again, claim they need money for something else, or try to pull you into a new scam. The demands do not stop. 1
Paying also sends money to someone who is committing a serious crime, and it encourages them to target other people.
Protect yourself
The best defence is simple: never send an intimate image or video to someone you have not met in person. This is the single strongest protection you have.
- Do not send a naked photo or video to anyone you know only from a dating app, even if they ask, even if they send you intimate images first, even if you are in a video call
- Do not undress on camera during a video chat with someone you have not met. Scammers can record these calls without your knowledge
- Keep your private photos private until you have met the person in person and built real trust over time
- If someone pushes you to send intimate content quickly, that is a warning sign. Real dates do not need to prove themselves this way
You can share your private photos with people you trust on the app, but keep your most intimate content off dating platforms entirely.
If it is happening to you right now
If a scammer has threatened you with intimate content, take these steps.
- Stop replying immediately. Do not engage with the scammer, do not negotiate, do not ask for proof
- Block them on the app and on any other platform they used to contact you. Block their number if they have it
- Take screenshots of every message. Do not delete the evidence, even if it is upsetting to look at. Save the photos and videos if you can. You may need this evidence later
- Do not send money, do not send more intimate content, do not open links they send you
Report it and get help
Report the profile to the dating app itself. Use the report button on their profile or in your messages. 3
Then report it to the police. Image-based abuse is a crime, and police can investigate. 3 In Australia, you can also report to eSafety, who can help have content removed or stop the threats. 3
If the scammer has already shared the image somewhere, you can use StopNCII to have it removed from platforms across the world. StopNCII works by creating a digital fingerprint (hash) of the image on your own device. You never have to share the image itself. Participating companies use the hash to find and block the image. 4
Read what to do if something goes wrong for more steps and resources in your country. You are not alone, and there is help available for your safety.
Sources
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Threat scams.
- Government of Western Australia, Consumer Protection and WA Police (2024). Alarm at young adults and teenagers caught up in 'sextortion' scams.
- eSafety Commissioner (2026). Image-based abuse (including revenge porn, sextortion and nude image blackmail).
- StopNCII.org (Revenge Porn Helpline, SWGfL) (2026). Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Image Abuse.
