DateableWhy you never receive or forward parcels for a match
A match who asks you to receive parcels, reship goods or handle money is using you to move the proceeds of crime. Say no and report the profile.
A match who asks you to receive a parcel, reship goods or handle money for them is using you to move the proceeds of crime. The reply is no, then report.
The request that stops looking like dating
The pattern usually follows this order. You match with someone attractive. The conversation is easy and warm. They seem to like you. After a week or two, the talk turns to meeting in person. They say yes. Then something goes wrong: a work emergency, a visa problem, an unexpected cost. The meeting cancels. A few more messages and another promise to meet. Another cancellation. And then, quietly, the ask: they have a parcel arriving at an address they cannot use, and would you receive it and reship it to them? Or money is coming through your bank account and can you pass it on? Or a friend wants to send you something but needs to get it through a certain process first.
Each request sounds reasonable and small. It is not. You are being asked to participate in moving stolen money. The parcel contains goods purchased with fraud. The bank transfer is from a victim's account that was hacked. The money is the proceeds of crime, and when you move it, you become the person law enforcement is looking for.
These requests come in many forms. Sometimes they ask you to open a new bank account because theirs is frozen. Sometimes they say they need to send money to family in another country and cannot do it themselves. Sometimes they claim a business deal needs to go through your account to avoid taxes. Sometimes the ask is framed as a test of trust: if you love them, you will do this small thing for them. None of these explanations matter. What matters is what you are actually doing: moving stolen money for a stranger.
What money mule scams are
When someone asks you to receive and move money or goods for them, they are asking you to be a money mule. In law, a money mule is someone who, at another person's direction, moves money obtained through fraud or other crimes. 1 2
The parcel or payment arriving at your address or through your account is the proceeds of crime. The person asking you to move it is not in trouble because they cannot leave the country, or because they are shy, or because of a tech glitch. They are in trouble because the money is stolen, and law enforcement is watching who touches it. They need someone else's hands on it. Your hands.
The charges you can face
Moving money for illegal activities can bring civil and criminal charges against you. 2 You can be charged as a participant in fraud, theft or other crime, even if you did not know what you were moving. You can be charged even if you did know. The distinction between knowing and not knowing does not matter in the eyes of law enforcement. What matters is that you moved it. The person asking you to do this will disappear once law enforcement starts asking questions. You will not.
A bank that spots these movements will freeze your account. You will not be able to access your own money during an investigation. The bank will file a report with financial intelligence units, and that report creates a record that follows you to your next bank account. It follows you when you apply for a mortgage, rent a flat, or start a new job. Future employers and landlords who run checks will see it. You may be flagged in banking systems as a money mule, which can make it very difficult to open a new account elsewhere.
The penalties depend on what the money was used for and how much was moved. You could face fines, probation, or jail time. You could be convicted of money laundering, which is separate from the underlying crime. Even if you are not convicted, the investigation and trial will cost you money in legal fees. The process alone will take months or years.
Your reputation, your bank account, your time and your legal record are all things you need. Do not trade them for someone you have never met.
Why it happens after the romance stalls
The scammer moves you to this ask after a stalled romance because you are already invested. You are imagining the meeting. You have told your friends about them. You want it to work. Asking in the first week would seem strange. Asking after the fourth cancellation feels like you are helping someone you care about through a rough patch. That is the design of it.
A real person who wants to date you will meet you. A real person without a valid payment account will figure it out, not ask you to solve it. A real person who does not know you will not ask you to move money.
What to say and what to do
If a match asks you to receive a parcel, move money or handle their finances in any way, stop replying. You do not have to be polite. You do not have to explain. You can:
I can't do that. Goodbye.
Then report the profile. On Dateable, report is one press from any profile or message. It reaches a person. The platform will look at what happened. If this person is running the same scam on others, the platform can see the pattern.
If you have already moved money or received a suspicious package:
- Stop all contact with the person right away.
- Tell your bank what happened immediately. Banks watch for these patterns and will guide you.
- Do not move any more money or packages, even if the person comes back with a story about why they need it.
- Report the account to the dating platform.
- Report to the right authority in your country. In Australia, report to Scamwatch. In the US, report to the FTC. In the UK, report to Report Fraud.
How to protect yourself from this
The strongest defence is knowing that this ask exists. If you meet someone who is kind and warm but cannot explain why they cannot meet, asks you to move money, or asks you to handle their finances, they are not being shy or having bad luck. They are committing fraud.
Meet in person early. People who want to date you will meet you. The excuses and delays are not obstacles to the romance: they are the red flag. Protect your privacy until you know someone is real, but say yes to the meeting early and often. If they always say no, the answer is no.
Sources
- Consumer Protection (New Zealand Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment) (2026). Types of scams.
- Commodity Futures Trading Commission (2023). Customer Advisory: Beware Offers to Receive and Forward Money.
