DateableMyth: a sugar daddy does not need a safety plan
Generous members meet strangers online and face the same risks as anyone else on a dating site: fake profiles, scams and threats. A safety plan protects you both.
If you are a generous member, you meet strangers just like anyone else on Dateable, and you face the same threats: fake profiles, romance scams, sextortion and schemes to extort money from you. A safety plan is not paranoia; it is the step between a risky first date and one where you stay in control.
Generous members are a target
Scammers know what generous members are looking for, and they know you are willing to spend money. Someone who runs a romance scam from overseas has two goals: to build trust and to get money from you. They start by setting up a fake profile. If you message them, they move the conversation fast.
There is another threat that is harder to see. Someone might message you with real photos and a real willingness to meet, but their plan is to get intimate photos from you on video or camera, then blackmail you to send money or they will share them with your family and friends. This is sextortion, and it happens to generous members too. Sextortion scammers work through dating sites and social media, and some falsely claim to have images, others trick people into sharing nudes or record them on video chat 1.
Meet in a place where you stay safe
The first rule of meeting anyone from online is the same whether you are looking for a relationship or an arrangement: meet in a public place with other people around, in daylight if you can, and use your own transport so you control when you leave. Do not go to their place on a first date, and do not have them come to yours.
If they suggest changing the venue at the last minute to somewhere you do not know, or somewhere private, that is a signal to cancel. Stick to what you planned.
Tell someone you trust where you will be
Before your date, tell a trusted friend or family member:
- The person's name and their profile photo
- The venue and the exact time you are meeting
- When you expect to be home
- If you want, ask them to track your phone location
Call or text them when you get home. If you do not check in, they will know something has gone wrong.
Keep your personal information private
Before meeting in person, keep your address, date of birth, workplace, family names and regular places private 2. A scammer can use these details to break into your accounts, or to find you offline. Your routine is also valuable to someone with bad intentions; if they know where you eat lunch every Friday, they can find you when you are alone.
On Dateable, your profile does not have to hold your address, workplace or full name. You can share what is safe to share, and reveal more only as trust builds.
Never send intimate photos to someone you have not met
If someone asks you to send nude photos, intimate videos or sexualised images on camera, the answer is no. Once you share them, you lose control of them. Sextortion scammers use two tactics: they either trick you into sharing images and then threaten to publish them, or they falsely claim to have images already and demand money anyway.
I'm not comfortable sharing photos like that. If this is a dealbreaker for you, that's okay. But I'm not going to change my mind on it.
If someone keeps pushing after you say no, they are not respecting your boundaries. Block them and report the profile.
Watch for the patterns scammers follow
Scammers build a story and move fast. They may say they are stuck overseas and need money for a plane ticket, or they have a family emergency, or they have a business opportunity for you. Never send money to someone you have not met in person 1. Be suspicious if someone you have only met online starts talking about investment opportunities, especially cryptocurrency.
If the conversation moves to WhatsApp or WeChat right away, or if they avoid video calls, that is a warning. A real person you are about to meet in a few days is fine with staying on Dateable until you do.
If something feels wrong, stop
Trust your instinct. If the conversation is moving too fast, if they are asking for things that make you uncomfortable, or if you simply have a bad feeling about them, you do not have to keep talking to them 3. Do not feel bad about cutting a date short if it does not feel right.
If they have already asked for money, sent you into a scam, or shared your information with others, report it. On Dateable, report and block are one press from any profile. If you sent money to a scammer, contact your bank right away.
The basics of first-date safety apply to you too: venue, transport, a trusted person who knows where you are, and nothing intimate on camera. These are not signs of doubt. They are signs that you are taking care of yourself.
Sources
- Scamwatch (ACCC) (2026). Threat scams.
- Sexual Assault Resource Centre, North Metropolitan Health Service (Government of Western Australia) (2021). Safe online dating.
- New Zealand Police (2026). Safety advice.
