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The Dateable blog
Straight answers on dating with clear expectations: first messages, first dates, money, safety and ending things well.
Should you accept terms that are less than you asked for?
Accept when the gap is on something flexible; decline on must-haves. Agree a review date so lower terms are not permanent.
Should you agree to exclusivity in an arrangement?
Agree only when you want it for yourself, not as payment. It runs both ways or it is not fair. A trial beats a promise on date three.
Should you apply for a Board invitation with no offer listed?
Yes, if the occasion appeals. The offer is optional on many listings. Read the details, ask in the conversation, and decide if the evening is worth your time.
Should you bring someone you have just met to a gala?
No, not for the first few dates. A gala is long, public, and full of people who will ask how you met. Wait until you both know the score.
Should you bring your partner to a family event?
Only once the relationship is something you would introduce as a partner anywhere. Family events carry more judgement than other settings, so plan for questions.
Should you delete messages and photos when it ends?
Delete intimate images you do not want circulated. Keep messages if there was any threat or pressure, stored somewhere private.
Should you dress to match your date?
Match formality levels, not colours. Ask what they are wearing if the code is unclear, choose complementary colours, and agree ahead for photographs.
Should you end an arrangement after a boundary is crossed?
A mistake owned and not repeated can be forgiven. A deliberate or repeated crossing is a reason to end it. How to tell the two apart.
Should you end an arrangement in person or by message?
For a long-running arrangement, in person. For a few dates, by message. If you feel unsafe, always by message.
Should you explain why you have a boundary?
No. A boundary stands on its own. Share your reason only when it brings you closer, not to earn permission to have it.
Should you fly a partner to you or travel to them?
Early on, travel to them so they meet you on home ground with their own bed and their own way home. Later, alternating suits an established arrangement.
Should you get your own travel insurance when a partner pays?
Yes. A policy in your own name covers you fully and stays with you if you leave early, unlike a partner's policy.
Should you give gifts back when an arrangement ends?
Gifts given freely are yours to keep. Return what was clearly lent. A request to return gifts is not an order you have to obey.
Should you take back a partner who ended it?
Only if the reason they left has changed, not just the feeling. New terms are needed, not a return to what was.
Should you look up a match online before a first date?
Check they are who they say they are, then stop. Reverse search their photos and look for their profile name across platforms.
Should you pay a photographer for dating photos?
A professional shoot can help if you have no recent photos and no one to take them. The key is choosing a photographer who shoots natural everyday photos.
Should you go on a group holiday with a partner's friends?
Only after you have met some of them and know how you will be introduced. A group holiday puts you on display for days.
Should you include a full-body photo on your dating profile?
Yes: a recent, clothed, full-length photo answers the question readers have and makes recognising you at the first date easy.
Should you introduce your sugar partner to your friends?
Yes, if you trust them and your friends won't gossip. No, if it is early or your partner wants discretion. Ask first, start with one friend, and agree who knows.
Should you mention children in your dating profile?
Mention that you have children in one general line if it shapes your time, leave out names and ages, and never post a photo with a child in it.
Should you move in with your sugar daddy?
Only once it's a relationship you would choose without the support. Keep your own money, put your name on the lease, and know your exit.
Should you name the venue on your Board listing?
Name it only if it helps applicants decide. The venue stays private until you accept a guest, but a known event or location can attract the right people.
Should you order for your date?
No, unless they ask. Offer a suggestion and let them choose: it shows respect without taking control of the meal.
Should you pause your profile or delete it?
Pause if you might come back. Delete if you are done. Paused profiles stay hidden and keep your data. Deleted profiles and all messages are gone within 30 days.