DateableDateable
The Dateable blog
Straight answers on dating with clear expectations: first messages, first dates, money, safety and ending things well.
Date planning mistakes generous members make
Five common mistakes: booking the same place, planning without asking, hiding the dress code, a too-loud venue, and making it about the bill.
How to keep dating private on a shared computer or tablet
Use a private browsing window, never save your password, and sign out every time to keep dating private on a shared device.
What to say when your date is rude to waiting staff
Thank the staff member on the spot. Then raise it with your date once, calmly, and see if they hear you. Here is how.
Should you date or mentor someone in your own industry?
Usually no. A shared industry puts both careers at risk if the arrangement ends badly or becomes known, and the risks stack in a small space.
Should you keep seeing someone whose limits differ from yours?
Keep seeing them if you both respect each other's limits; stop if a core limit clashes and neither of you will budge.
How to date while you are managing anxiety or depression
Keep your treatment routine first, date when you feel strong, and know who to call. You choose whether and when to tell a partner.
Why planning every date around drinks is a mistake
When every date is drinks, you learn less about each other and take on risk you do not need. An activity or meal gives a date shape.
Why dates in busy photo spots can cost you privacy
Busy photo spots can put you in strangers' posts. Choose quieter venues, agree on photos beforehand, and ask people not to tag you.
Why you should never date from your work phone or email
Work devices and accounts belong to your employer. Dating on them puts your privacy in their hands and tells matches where you work.
What to bring and plan for a dating photo shoot
Bring two or three outfits, a charged phone, a friend or tripod and a shot list. Shoot in the hour before sunset, somewhere that does not identify you.
How to use natural light for dating profile photos
Stand facing a window or go outside in the hour after sunrise or before sunset. Let soft light fall on your face, not from behind.
How to take a good dating photo indoors at night
Turn off the overhead light and sit near a warm lamp at face height. Use your phone's back camera with the flash off, hold still, and tidy the background.
How to look good in dating photos over 40
Use recent photos that show you now, taken in soft light at eye level. Your style and confidence carry them more than any filter does.
Dating photos that make you look like a fake profile
Honest photos can raise red flags: all professional shots, only one photo, perfect editing, no everyday images. Mix in plain recent photos and get verified.
What to do the day before a Board date
Read the safety checklist, confirm time and place, tell a friend where you are going, and charge your phone before meeting someone from the Board.
Daytime date ideas that are easy to say yes to
Daytime dates end naturally, happen in public, and suit people with evening commitments. Try a long lunch, visit a market, or take a walk.
How to deal with guilt after you end an arrangement
Guilt after ending support is common and does not mean you did something wrong. You can hurt someone kindly by keeping your promises and stepping away.
How to deal with regret about a past arrangement
Separate what you chose with what you knew then from what you know now. Regret is useful when it tells you what to do differently next time.
What to decide before you agree to a second date
A second date is a fresh yes. Before you give it, check: did they keep their word, ask about you, respect your boundaries, and match your expectations.
How to decide your standards before you start matching
Write three to five standards down before the first message arrives, so attention and flattery do not decide for you.
How to say no to a date idea, not the date
Say no to the plan without rejecting the person. Decline clearly, offer an alternative, and show what a date who argues has told you about themselves.
How to say no to a private photo request, with examples
A short, friendly line is enough to decline. You don't owe a reason, and if they ask again, that tells you something about them.
Ways to say you are not ready for exclusivity
Say no to exclusivity without ending something good: scripts for "not yet", for "not ever", and for offering honesty about who else you see instead.
How to define exclusivity so you both mean the same thing
Before you ask for exclusivity, agree on what the word means to each of you. The same word means different things.